My family made plans without my knowledge or consent to go to Croatia for Easter. It’s a small town gateway but I (21m) just really don’t like spending my time sitting around in foreign places just doing nothing + i can’t stand long car rides so i decided to just tell my boss i’m available thru the whole Easter to work at the store so i’ll propably get scheduled and earn some bonus money. My dad is saying that as an adult i have to suck it up and come with them cuz that’s what families do but i don’t see a point in driving 800 km just to not enjoy myself and miss out on some extra cash. (also last time we went on vacay we just fought nonstop and it was just generally not a good time) Am i the asshole or am i just choosing me?
NTA. Your dad is incorrect. As a child you had to suck it up. As an adult you do not have to suck it up any longer.
Adults have jobs and can’t just drop everything at the drop of a hat. Your father is incorrect.
You get a limited amount of Leave. You can decide when to use it.
nta
I stopped going on holiday with my parents when I was about 14 or 15 as it was much too stressful. You’re 21, an adult, and can make adult decisions for yourself. Do your own thing.
NTA it’s your choice what you want to do with your time.
I get so tired of family using that grand old line, ’cause that’s what family does’. Bullshit your old enough to decide for yourself. Dad’s the slight AH for trying to guilt you into going, just think you’ll miss out on all the fighting……..
NTA – you are an adult and can do what you want
INFO: Does dad pay for your rent and general livelihood, separate from what the store compensates you?
NTA
as an adult, you have the agency to not go on family vacations, especially the ones you don’t enjoy.
adulthood might not have all those advantages we though of, but it does allow you to choose yourself for once (or twice, trice, etc).
Nta tell your dad as an adult he can suck it up because you are not coming
As a CHILD you would have no choice but to suck it up and come with them. As an adult, no one can make you. However, if you depend on them for anything like housing or school funds, you do have to pick your battles.
NTA, but be strategic.
NTA.
It’s children, not adults, who have to go along with what their parents decide. If you are an adult, then they need to consult with you about the family vacation plans.
I imagine a lot of the fighting last time had to do with them trying to control your life in other ways.
NTA, should have just pulled the “I can’t get time off people have already asked for it off.” so they don’t ask as much.
NTA As an adult you get to make your own decisions on your own vacations. I have three kids and wouldn’t expect any of them to want to have come on holiday with me once they got to a certain age. It isn’t normal to force your adult children to go on holiday with you. Families do not do that.