I (14 female) am a jitterbug in my highschool performance. The ‘Lead Jitterbug’ (H) has been missing most if not all of the tech week days. The days we are literally needing to sign a form, and if you don’t go one day, regardless of other activities, are cut. A while ago, I was cut because my parent made me go to dance class, and caused me to be cut. Now, H is picking to go to their dance class (same as mine) and decided it themself. They’re not being cut. I feel bad. Also, I understand they’re the ‘lead’ jitterbug, but all it means is they say a line. ‘Come and get em!’. That is literally the only diffrence I feel bad because I’m kinda friends with them, but at the same time I feel like this is targeted favoritism. Another thing, I told stage managers and the director that I HAD to miss it because I was being forced. H only told one stage manager. Idk am I being mean?
NTA- I’m guessing your sensitive to Injustice. Comment on the spectrum. I’m not saying you were on the spectrum but I’m just saying it’s common on the spectrum.
You were cut and she’s not. Why is she getting preferred treatment? Anyone would feel that way.
It’s what you do now. You’re not the a for feeling that way. But you will need to make an issue of it if you want to be heard. And that can impact social life at schools.
But it’s hard for it not to feel discriminatory towards you. Doesn’t it?
YTA. I understand it might feel unfair. But it’s not H who got you cut. So I’m assuming the day you missed was considered an important day you needed to fill something up, while the day H misses is not?
You’re really young, so my advice is focus on yourself and what you can do, and not the actions of others. Trying to cut your friend just because it happened to you, while might seem fair, won’t make you much friends.
I understand this, but also the day I missed my scene wasn’t even worked on. But we work on her scene everytime and she knows it
I’m going to tell you a hard fact I learned in school the hard way. Even if you might be in the right, doing something that doesn’t benefit you, yet harms others, is not good for you. And also, if as you said, teachers favor H, then no matter what you say, it really doesn’t matter. There will always be a reason they can reason it out.
Again, stop focusing on what H does or does not do. Focus on yourself.
My mind went to a different place with that title.
Same here
INFO i’m a bit confused. if the rule is that you’re cut if you don’t attend a tech day then why isn’t H being cut? does the rule exclude leads?
YWBTA – This is a great lesson to learn at your age.
YTA seems like some days are mandatory and some are not. You’re saying her parts are every day so she should have to attend everyday?
It sucks but you’re all aware of which days are the sign the paper mandatory days – the other days are clearly deemed to be less important.
NTA—But don’t ask for the lead to be cut. Instead, ask the stage manager in front of other adults and kids whether the rule has changed. Clarify that you are asking because last year you were cut after your mom forced you to miss and go to dance class, but this year [name] has been missing to go to the same dance class but hasn’t been cut. Ask again if the rule has changed (because you might want to go to dance class too, right?) or if the rule doesn’t apply to [name].
Secret favoritism is not good for group cohesion or morale. It fosters resentment and obviously your resentment is growing. You deserve clarity and if the stage manager is playing favorites, he or she needs to own up to it and explain or apologize for the unequal treatment. It might not change anything, but at least you will have clarity and the unequal treatment will be more widely known instead of a festering secret sore point.
Okay so I completely understand this. I do fear I did slip up by calling them a lead. They get an extra line. Nothing else being special. I should of said a ‘featured role’ and that is on me
I would also ask your mom what she thinks about you addressing this issue with the stage manager because I don’t know his or her personality or how volatile the stage manager is. Some adults’ reaction might be to think “how dare this teenager question me?” and get angry, while other, more mature adults might realize why you have questions and why resentment might be growing among the cast and welcome the opportunity to clear the air, even if it’s to affirm that the rule doesn’t apply to [name] for whatever reason.
Question: Was the other jitterbug in the cast last year? If so, the stage manager may assume that the other jitterbug already knows the role/steps very well after completing the practices and show last year and doesn’t need as much practice, whereas if you were cut before finishing all of the practices and show last year, the stage manager may think you need all of the practices to learn the role. But that’s just a guess.
Okay so I did ask my parent and they said that it is wrong, because my director has a history of doing this. The other jitterbug has never been in theater, this being their first show, and has only been doing dance classes for 3 years (I have been doing theater for 2 years and dance for 8)