I’M 26M live in a pretty small apartment that I worked really hard to get. It’s the first place I’ve had that’s completely my own, and because of that I’m probably a little more particular about how things are handled than most people.
One of the rules I’ve had since I moved in is that nobody wears outdoor shoes inside. It’s not a cultural thing or anything like that, I just like keeping the floors clean. I have a small entry area with a shoe rack and a basket with cheap house slippers people can use if they want. Most of my friends think it’s a little extra but they go along with it.
Last weekend I had a few friends over for a casual game night. One of the people who came was a friend of a friend I’d only met once before. When everyone came in, most people automatically took their shoes off like usual.
The new guy didn’t. I pointed to the rack and said something like Hey, I keep shoes by the door. He kind of laughed and said he’d only be a minute and walked in anyway.
I thought he was joking at first, but he kept walking around my living room with them on. I reminded him again, and he said something like Come on, it’s just shoes.
At that point I told him I wasn’t trying to be difficult but it’s a rule in my place, and if he didn’t want to take them off he could grab the slippers or just hang out on the balcony for a bit. I said it pretty calmly, but the room got awkwardly quiet.
He eventually took the shoes off, but the mood was kind of weird afterward. Later one of my friends told me I could have just let it go because calling him out like that in front of everyone was embarrassing for him. Another friend said it wasn’t a big deal and that it’s my apartment so my rules.
I honestly wasn’t trying to make a point or power move or anything. I just didn’t want someone ignoring a pretty simple boundary in my home.
Now I’m wondering if I should’ve just let it slide for the sake of keeping things comfortable.
AITA?
NTA. Your house, your rules. It is rude for guests to disrespect your household rules. Period. I would call this friend and tell him that you’re sorry if he felt embarrassed, but you are not changing your rules, so next time he comes over, please wear a cool pair of socks if you don’t want to wear the house slippers or go barefoot.
NTA he was trying to pull a power move on you by walking around in circles in your living room in his shoes.
Yes, it doesn’t sound to me like he was embarrassed at all. If I was OP, I would make sure if anyone was bringing guests, that they had told them beforehand. I think it was whoever brought him who was embarrassed they missed it. NTA
NTA. Your house, your rules
Also, in most of Canada, shoes off at the door is standard. When 50% of the year is spent wearing boots covered in snow, ice, mud, and road salt, your floors get messy FAST. So boots off at the door.
And like… Who knows what people have stepped in outside? And if you drop food on the floor… 5 second rule isnt enough when you arent made aware your guest recently stepped in dog poop on their way over
Not just Canada. All the northern snowy states and I’m just waiting for the Norwegians to find this thread, lol. They usually express shock people wear shoes in the house. Northern Europe for that matter. Asia, for different reasons. Literally half the world.
NTA.
As a host, you accommodate wherever you can. You have slippers.
The guy noticed everyone remove their shoes and chose not to.
You asked the guy politely and he refused your request.
The third time you told him to remove his shoes and he acted like a puppy that had just been scolded.
That’s on him. Polite doesn’t work with him. Can you imagine trying to be his coworker? Ugh.
NTA
“It’s just shoes.”
“No, dude, it’s just **MY HOME**. If you’re not willing to abide by my rules in my home, you’re welcome to leave.”
Nobody I know or have ever met, wears shoes in the house. It’s considered disgusting. Bringing all the shit you walk in outside, in public, fully into your home…no thanks 😊
NTA he would have saved himself from embarrassment had he taken his shoes off in the first place.
NTA you “embarassed” the guy because he specifically choosed to ignore your rule. That’s on him.
NTA. Even in a shoes-on culture, it’s rude as hell to laugh at a hosts rules when you’re a guest.
Dude embarrassed *himself* by trying to bully and disrespect you in your own home.
NTA
You didn’t embarrass him, he embarrassed himself by disregarding a completely reasonable request multiple times. NTA.
NTA. This guy made things awkward by trying to make a power play in someone else’s home. Your place, your rules, and shoes off isn’t even an unreasonable ask.