I (29F) have 2 kids, one we are going to call Ben (3m)
So Ben likes Marvel. Mostly the kids shows like Spidey. He has lego sets, themed room and all his clothes are marvel, the night before her and i got into a fight over her taking one of Bens Captain america lego sets to take apart and rebuild it, so there was already tension
We were in Walmart, it was me, husband stepdaughter and kids, My stepdaughter (16) makes us stop at the poster section and she asks her dad if she can buy a poster, I believe it was an ‘Avengers one. He says no and reminds her that she got a poster for christmas-A hello kitty one that has been collecting dust in her closet
She just agrees and we continue shopping. the kids want to stop at the toy section so we let them. There, My husband takes my daughter to look at the barbies and babies, while I stay with Ben and my stepdaughter
They look at the lego sets though its mostly Ben looking over my stepdaughters shoulder while she points somewhere on the box, saying “Woah look at this! It looks so cool, right?” Eventually, ben comes up with a lego set and slips it into the cart. I dont say anything since the goal was already to get in and out without tantrums or fits
While were walking back to checkout I hear my stepdaughter quietly ask her dad “Since Ben is getting that can I get that poster?” He repeats what he said earlier and she gets kind of withdrawn after that
In the car she sits there pouting and is even ignoring ben-She never does this
We stop at mcdonalds quick and she says she doesnt want anything-Unusual for her she is always hungry since shes picky and doesnt like what i cook so I guess Starving is better
Her dad asks her whats wrong and she blows up. “You got Ben a whole fifteen dollar lego set but you couldnt even get me a ten dollar poster!” and then she starts rambling “Ben gets every lego set, He gets a whole room themed Marvel, he gets clothes with his favourite superheros on them and you guys dont even realize that I like marvel too! I’ve had Merch from Marvel on my christmas list and birthday list for three years and not once has anyone gotten anything off of it. You guys dont even know I like marvel!”
Something like this has already happened before at 14, where she was upset that nobody got her any presents or tried to spend time with her+we forgot the one year.
I reached my breaking point.
“Ben is three, he plays with his toysYou just keep things in your room to look at. Its entitled that you think you deserve these things when you’ve done nothing to prove you should have them, and its immature to be jealous over Ben, hes three. Stop complaining and be gratfeul for the things people got you for christmas. You don’t need anymore clutter in your room so stop pestering us”
now she is very upset with me and her dad and is even being weird towards her brother and apparently she wants me to apologize for yelling at her-she was crying the whole way home. Am i the asshole?
Three years old is too young for LEGO.
YTA. The blatant favoritism for your own kids that you’re showing in this post is appalling. I feel so bad for your stepdaughter. Are you seriously saying you forgot her birthday one year? Jfc this is sad.
YTA.
I really hope this one is just trolling. You absolutely cannot say shit like “just because we never get her what she wants and one year we **forgot her birthday**” and think you’re anything but a neglectful parent and a turbo asshole.
Wow. YTA. Major Evil Stepmother Vibes.
YTA – you forgot 1 year ?
Forget what exactly ?
And she’s right.
Ben should not have been allowed a toy when she wasn’t allowed anything.
It doesn’t matter if you think she won’t use it and he will.
Also if she’s had Marvel on her lists for the past three years why buy her a Hello Kitty poster ?
YTA and based off this post a terrible parent.
I feel so sorry for this child. Everybody forgets about her, ignores her and when she gets upset they tell her she doesn’t deserve anything. The little boy gets whatever he wants so he does not throw a tantrum. YTA. Yall suck as parents.
YTA. 100%. How dare you? You’re absolutely horrible to that girl.
There was a year where nobody got her presents or paid any attention to her at Christmas and you forgot her birthday? YTA. Also has anyone offered to help hang her hello kitty poster? You have a child that is literally telling you she feels othered and forgotten about and you’re calling her whiny instead of acknowledging her feelings, which based on how YOU described your treatment of her, seems valid.
(Edit for clarification)
You and your husband are horrible people. You don’t mention how old your step-daughter is, but if you take two kids into a store and buy something for one, you buy something for the other. Period.
You make this post about your step-daughter whining, after you demonstrated to her that you love your son more than her.
You are more than an asshole. You are despicable.
Let me add that I believe everything your step-daughter said is true. You didn’t deny it. Instead you tried to justify why you gave one kid a Marvel-themed life, and wouldn’t spend ten bucks on a poster for her.
YTA. Evil Step Mother Alert ‼️
5 million percent, YTA
YTA you’re clearly showing preferential treatment to your kids over your stepdaughter. Of course she’s upset that she can’t get something for $10 while her younger brother is allowed to get a $15 toy no questions asked. It’s unfair to her. You forgot her birthday? You didn’t buy her presents? You think she needs to prove she deserves things? You’re complaining that she only buys stuff to look at when that’s the whole purpose of a poster?
You’re absolutely the asshole and I don’t think you actually care. If the point of shopping was to get through it without tantrums then why’d you throw one when your stepdaughter stood up for herself?
YTA. Aside from the obvious favoritism, the tone in which you write about her shows how much you resent her presence. She is having to beg just to feel seen in her own home. You’re intentionally sabotaging a teen girl’s sense of self worth.