My girlfriend and I have been together for a round 4 years. We share a few interests but still have a few separate interests
Before we got together my gf had been to a few festivals and last year started talking about wanting to go to one.
I mentioned that it’s not my thing but she said I should want to do it to make her happy and take an interest in her interests so I agreed to go. She said I’d have to at my half since she won’t be paying for both of us. This cost me over £500 in total for the ticket plus the weekend
There’s a comic con coming up later this year and a lot of the celebrities attending are from a show I love and from other movies etc. My gf doesn’t really have an interest in this but I mentioned to her that I wanted us to go.
She said no and that it would be boring for her but I pointed out it’s something I’m interested in. She again said no but I pointed out her double standards saying that I went to the festival because it’s something she wanted.
She said she’d go if I paid for everything but I again pointed out she expected me to pay for the festival so why is it one rule for her and another for me.
I said it’s upsetting knowing she won’t bother to do something g for me while expecting me to do things for her.
She accused me of guilt tripping her and said she shouldn’t have to go with me.
AITA for expecting ting her to go to the comic con with me?
“Guilt tripping” when she *should* feel guilty for being a hypocrite lmao
NTA
NTA – Tell the hypocrite to pay you back
NTA
SHe was the one who set that standard, and now that she shoe is on the other foot, she realizes it maybe wasn’t the greatest idea.
How about a ‘new’ agreement? We DON’T need to go to each other’s ‘things’ if we aren’t interested. If there truly is something where one person wants the other to attend, they can pay.
For now, she attends and pays becuase it’s fair, OR she pays you back for what YOU attended and you’ll call it even.
OR….she’s maybe not the one for you if she can’t see that she’s being wholly unfair in this.
NTA, I am married and have varied interests, my husband and I go together to things as this is how partnerships work, I don’t like his music but have gone to festivals with him. He isn’t too interested in art but has travelled to the Louvre with me.
Can’t have double standards, and it seems fairly immature to not go with you and show an interest for your sake.
Try to think about a long term future like this.
Nta!! She set the standard for doing things together that interests one and not the other. Can’t be one rule for her and one for you. It’s unfair.
Pretty simple case of NTA here. I’d consider whether your relationship is gonna work long-term. Not saying it’s over – but I’d try and resolve this issue with her properly again and if she can’t see your perspective, without accusing you of guilt-tripping, that’s not a great sign.
NTA. If you were willing to do something that she wanted to do and even paid for it then she should be willing to do the same for you. Your girlfriend is a hypocrite and an AH.
NTA, now you know. You wanted to make her happy, she doesn’t care enough to make you happy.
NTA.
>she said I should want to do it to make her happy and take an interest in her interests so I agreed to go
Her backing out of it when it’s the other way around is pretty telling. Usually when you say things, you should be ok if it were the other way around too.
And her saying you need to pay for everything? I would say just venmo request her for the money back from the festival and go to comic-con alone. As much as she is definitely holding a double standard, forcing her to go, regardless on what you do relationship wise, will ruin this trip esp since she won’t compromise.
Enjoy comic-con by yourself.
She would ruin it for him anyway … true colors were shown.
NTA.
Rules for thee and not for me is not how a relationship should work. Your girlfriend sounds self-centered and selfish. I wouldn’t say break up with her quite yet, but have a serious sit down discussion with her again and lay out how she expected so much from you without holding herself to the same standard. It’s not a guilt trip, it’s a comparison of hypocritical behavior.
NTA. I encourage to use this opportunity to assess the relationship. How often does she do something just for you? How often do you do something just for her? What’s her attitude when the moment is about you? Are you comfortable asking her to engage in an activity you enjoy and want to share, or are you anxious about her response. If the effort is not equal and/or she makes you feel guilty or pushy whenever you ask, she’s selfish. Selfish women make bad life partners.
Dude…. Don’t build a life with a selfish partner. Don’t build a life in double standards. Just don’t. NTA
Personally I completely disagree that a partner should join you in doing a big activity they have no interest in. Go see a movie together only one person is into – of course. But an entire weekend that costs 500 euros? No way. But the fact that she guilt trip you into going with her and then wont return the favor and then through the guilt trip thing at you – NTA. This would be a huge deal for me. Personally I would draw a line and let my SO know that I will no longer be doing big things like that again that I don’t want to do. And I would be on edge in the relationship for awhile gauging if they ever do things with me that I want and they don’t and how often are they expecting me to cater to them.