So quick little back story I work in an industrial facility but I’m in the administrative building so things are pretty professional. There is a co worker who works on the same team as me and he basically has been here for 41 years? I believe he’s 62 right now so he’s been here a while. His office is exactly next to mine. I’ve been with the company for 6 years so I’m not completely new.
Anyways when I started on this team coming from another department I was super excited to speak with everyone on the team and build a good relationship with everyone.
Everything was fine at first let’s call this co worker Rick. We used to chat a lot about work and things outside of work too we were a good team. Anyways he started talking mad crap about me being young and always on my phone and how the young generation doesn’t work as hard as the old generation. Just a whole bunch of crap.
He said all this to my old co workers who are very close to me and told me. And I know they wouldn’t lie because other people have told me he talks bad behind my back too. Anyways since that happened I have completely cutting off conversation off most conversations from him and I am very rude with him and I don’t even say good morning even though his office is next to my office.
He never talked crap to my face just always behind my back. But it’s weird because he talks crap about the other co workers on our team behind their backs to me! ( well used to) anyways I respond to him with 1 word answers and give him disgusting looks when he’s talking to me. AITA?
Should I try giving things another shot? I just want everyone to like me. So what if I don’t work 8/8 hours of the day and chill around for 2 hours. He does the exact same thing and expects me to be out in the field all day long. Idk
NTA – As someone who’s a similar age to this coworker of yours, I can say that age shouldn’t matter. I never minded younger people being on the phone. As long as:
1. They got their work done.
2. When I needed to talk with them, I didn’t have to wait for them to get off their phone.
3. I didn’t have to repeat myself when talking to them, because they were on their phone and not listening.
It has less to do with being on a phone. And more to do about just doing your job.
Sounds like he’s just cantankerous with everyone. But I don’t know if giving him the cold shoulder is the answer. It might be better to gently confront him. Tell him you’ve heard he’s been talking about you behind your back. And that you never do that about him. See how he responds. But know, it may or may not make it better.
EDIT: BTW, 62 isn’t all that old. You’ll see someday! 🙂
Thank you for the response I was thinking to confront him one time but then I was like I don’t want to start unnecessary issues. I know it’s not that old haha I am 29 that’s why but I feel bad for the dude I said old because he is falling apart. He just got multiple surgeries done, dude has had 2 types of cancer 😔
One point in favor of just letting it go, it sounds like he does this to everyone. So it’s not like he’s picking on you particularly. It’s just the way he is. Chances are most of his co-workers have learned to discount what he says.
ESH (but him more than you)
Well, you buried the lede! So he is right? You admit you chill out for 25% of your work day on your phone so, when he says you spend tons of time on your phone, he is correct? Spending time on non-work stuff openly at work (e.g. playing on your phone or knitting) looks unprofessional to me.
He is the asshole too if he does the same (presumably not on his phone) and is unable to realize he doesn’t work more either. He is also the asshole for going around behind people’s backs. So double the asshole.
YTA and now the other older co workers will think so too.
If that coworker already talks about you behind your back why are you giving him something to talk about by proving his points?
You openly admit you “chill around for 2 hours” and when criticized for it even if it’s hypocritical you run to Reddit to get validation.
Grow up.
NTA, but you’ve got to be careful.
A lot of older people have no concept of how much time they waste by talking to others, I believe that he probably does spend 2 hours complaining if he’s well known for it. I have several older coworkers who do the same, it’s very annoying.
Some older workers make a lot of assumptions about younger workers. This isn’t new, it’s happened for millennia and will probably never stop. It’s usually a version of: back in my day, kids these days, no one wants to work anymore, etc. Don’t take it too personally, he’s just bitter.
But if it’s going to impact your career I would be wary, or at least confirm your whole team is spending 2 hours a day not working. Otherwise you could be seen as a big time waster just like him. If it truly is company culture to waste 2 hours daily then you’re doing nothing wrong.
“So what if I don’t work 8/8 hours of the day and chill around for 2 hours”
So you’re stealing time and he has every right to look down on you. You’re also proving his point about laziness in the “current generation”. You sure he spends 2 hours of his day just chilling and doomscrolling like you do? Or is that some psychological projection and/or justification for your own slacker behavior? An employee openly admitting to spending 1/4 of their work day “chilling out” is totally a fireable offense in my eyes.
He’s not your boss, and shouldn’t be talking about this stuff. That’s on him.
You call what he says “a whole bunch of crap”, but then admit that you don’t work for hours at a time during your working day (while you “chill around”)…which basically proves his point. That’s on you.
ESH.
I need you to realize that there are a lot of other people working around you who do not give a single fuck about the beef between the two of you, and just want it to not be a thing. In fact, right now, you are probably getting paid to make this post, from your phone, instead of working. So you are effectively proving his point and being the thing you are in part criticizing him for.
ESH. You for making things worse and being a hypocrite, him for being whatever he is based on the story you’ve told us.
NTA.
As long as your work is getting done and nothing is lagging behind because you’re on your phone then he can mind his business.
I havent had an office job where I didnt have to kill time to make the day go by, sometimes there is simply not enough work to keep you busy all day. Lots of apparently dedicated workers in these comments who I believe most definitely dont put in 100% effort all day every day at their jobs.
If he keeps talking shit and you’re getting all of your work done, seems like it’d be worthwhile to mention it to your boss that he thinks its okay to bad mouth you all the time to your peers.
However in the event that you’re just killing time because you dont feel like working, and not because you are able to do so without affecting productivity at work, then you should maybe get over it and let it go before he tries to get you in trouble with your superiors for slacking off.
So you actually *do* waste two hours on your phone daily on company dime and get mad Rick points it out to others?
YTA.