I and my sister stay together with grandma who has been sick for a while now, we take good care of her and do almost everything around the house since she can’t move, although she has been a great burden but we can’t just leave her all alone by herself, my sister help out in some of the chores in the house and make me feel relief from some of the stress, until now when I got a job in a different town, I decided to convince my sister to stay alone with grandma, that I will be visiting from time to time but this have been a tough issue because my sister and I, she has refused to face all the stress alone and told me to turn the job offer down but I refused And left home for the job but now my sister has been so angry with me, because i couldn’t turn down a job offer I have been haunting for long now.
omg i totally get this struggle. sometimes you have to choose yourself first even if it feels selfish – your career matters too and you can still help financially while visiting when you can.
NTA but you and your sister need to find extra help. Leaving it to one person is not good for anyone.
Your mom (if your grandmother is her mom) or your dad (if your grandmother is his mom) is YTA for dumping your grandmother on you and your sister. And YTA for dumping your grandmother on your sister.
Would you think her an asshole if she left you with all the caregiving and moved off for a new job? I’m betting you would.
YTA, though that doesn’t mean you’re wrong. You may be right for prioritizing your career, but your relationship with your sister may never recover. You were in this together, and you made the decision for both of you. That’s your right – but she’s not wrong in how she feels about it.
Sometimes there’s just no answer that is the right thing for everyone concerned. You did what you needed to do for yourself. Now you just have to accept that there will be consequences — just as there would have been different consquences had you turned down your dream job.
Good luck.
NTA for taking the job, but you need to use some of that new income to help her. If you are moving away, you are essentially ‘hiring’ your sister to be a full-time caregiver. Can you contribute a portion of your new salary to hire a part-time nurse or a cleaner to take the pressure off of her? You’ve gained freedom, but she’s just gained a double shift. Helping her financially is the only way to make this fair.