So, I am a pretty wild girl tbf and love dancing at the front of mosh pits at hard-techno, techno and about everything EDM related. I just love meeting new people and dancing hard. Now friends are amazing people but they get really stressed out in claustrophobic environments so they will not go with me to the front of the mosh which wouldn’t be a problem except they get really stressed about me.
Frequently, when I leave them to go to the front of the mosh after 20-30minutes i’ll check my phone and have 5-10 missed calls asking where I am (and every time I’ve told them I’m going to the front to enjoy a DJ’s set that I really like.) Then when the set finishes, I’ll go back to them and they will all be outside at a table saying how worried they were about me. I can understand how they feel but this also really puts a damper on my night. Instead dancing and partying I end up in d&ms about how they think i’m too loose, while the concert is still going.
(Now, I do drink at these raves but I always finish the drink at the bar to make sure that I don’t get spiked and never drink anything even water off strangers). I’m also not getting blind drunk, maybe a little bit past being tipsy sometimes.
Don’t let your friends’ issues impact your fun. It’s a them problem. NTA
I would say NAH. I think it is fair enough that you want to experience the Rave the way you want to as being in a mosh can be more fun for some people, But they are also not wrong for being worried about you. Maybe if you find some girls or guys to party with that enjoy the mosh, they will feel more comfortable knowing you aren’t alone
That’s a great Idea just got to find some people I enjoy being around. Something I love about partying is meeting new people so being alone for me isn’t undesirable, but if it makes them more comfortable it could be the go.
NTA that just sounds annoying. I don’t like the crush of the pit but it’s not like it’s a war zone. And leaving the group together for you to have your fun and then rejoin is reasonable. You probably bring back good stories. What do they think is going to happen to you?
I don’t know, TBH I am pretty small. They just say you might get elbowed or do something stupid
NTA. It’s perfectly normal for friends to do their own things at gigs/festivals/raves etc. Everyone has different likes and dislikes, some like the front, or the back, or the side, whatever! You do do!
If your friends cannot understand that and keep calling you to the point it is distracting or upsetting to you, then you may need to consider going to events by yourself. Trust me, it is so fucking liberating!!!
You could perhaps catch up with your friends for pre-drinks before the event, or catch up with them at the end of the event. But something I’ve learned is that just because you are good friends and enjoy the same music/events, doesn’t mean you have to go to those events “together”.
I have gone to event’s by myself and loved it, I just don’t want to hurt them. They love being around me at Raves and I find it pretty fun especially when their are softer DJs and I’m getting hyped up. But I will probably have to just go alone in the future at least sometimes
I’m going to say NAH but you should probably not go to raves with those friends. I’ve been to a few EDM festivals and more general House/Electronic DJ set and have learned which friends I like to go with.
They’re not the AH because I understand why they’d be a bit worried. I do feel like there’s a bit of “girl code” when it comes to being aware of the people you came with and knowing they’re safe. I had friends who would drink a ton/ do a bunch of drugs (not saying you do) but it would ruin a night out if I genuinely feared for their safety which warranted or not seems to be the position they’re in.
I also don’t think you’re an AH because that is one of the fun parts of a rave. Raves are so much fun if you’re with people who want to do the same things and are comfortable with the same things (setting up meetup point/ time usually works for us)
Assuming you’re all adults (and if not there are deeper issues with the situation) then they just shouldn’t go with you if your priority is going to stress them out/ ruin your fun and you should try going with people who have more similar priorities.
This. It’s normal safety stuff, checking in on your friends periodically. The friends aren’t stopping her or even criticising her, they’re just trying to check in to make sure she’s safe. They’re maybe a little bit over-anxious, but then again it’s hard to gauge what is the “right” level of awareness at events like this. I say that as a girl who raved hard in my day, and got into some risky situations at times. I’m glad I had a friend checking on me.
Ummm NAH?
They’re checking in to make sure you didn’t get stomped, lost, or manhandled. That’s good friendship.
You can totally go dance up the front, they’re not trying to stop you. Checking you’re safe isn’t stopping you.
NAH. Tell them that you don’t want to ruin their experience, the need to accept this is wha you will do, and similarly you can’t worry about their reactions. Rather, just thank them for knowing where you can meet them after the set ends. Usually there’s minimal reception at those kinda of events, so it’s nice they’re trying. Just be kind, and ask them to take a half step back, so you don’t feel claustrophobic and they still feel safe and everyone enjoys the rave their way.
NAH
It puts a damper on your night because of the texts. It puts a damper on their night because of the worry.
Maybe go with friends who you don’t have to abandon.
NTA, go on your side quests adventurer!