So I invited my friend to a movie and he said yes. Meanwhile I asked a girl from work also, she’s married with kids and wanted to bring her 15yo kid. I said no problem and bought 4 tickets.
I told my friend and he said he didn’t want to 3rd wheel and I explained it wasn’t like that and she was bringing her son who also wanted to see the movie. They’d don’t know each other but I didn’t see that as an issue as it was just a movie with friends.
He said he wasn’t going but I just laughed and assumed he was joking. 30 mins before the movie he texted me to let him know how the movie was.
I was confused and realised he wasn’t joking when he said he wasn’t going earlier.
In his defense, I could have mentioned that there was 2 other people coming but I feel like he could have been clearer with saying he no longer wants to go.
He said "I’m not going" but I laugh reacted to the message and moved on.
Basically I asked for the money for the ticket and after a lot of back and forth he sent it over, then proceeded to remove me from IG and block me on WhatsApp. Which I think was an over reaction.
I think we both could have done things differently but I booked the tickets when he agreed to go, regardless if he had all the information or not.
I feel like if the shoe was on the other foot, if I changed my mind it would be my problem, not his.
AITA?
You thought it was friends going to see a film together. He thought it was a date.
> I feel like he could have been clearer with saying he no longer wants to go.
He said he wasn’t going. You chose to assume he was joking.
There was clearly a miscommunication here. I suspect he had the impression this outing was something it was not.
ESH. If it was a group outing, not sure why you wouldn’t just be up front about that. And his reaction (blocking etc) was extremely dramatic.
Yta obviously
Edit: I read this backwards somehow. You invited him, he said yes, you then said friend B was coming but not child, so he backed out
Yeah ESH since you did accidentally bait and switch him and didn’t communicate fully. But he shouldn’t have backed out and left you on the hook either. Might be a good idea to get all the details straight before paying for anything next time :/
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Keeping my original mistake below because why not
So…he said no to the movie. You assumed his no was a secret yes, bought a ticket he declined, and were very surprised when his no was actually a no
And now you want him to pay you because his no did in fact mean no instead of meaning yes, because you think it could have been yes if you had explained the situation more fully
You asked him to the movies, he agrees. You then ask another friend, she brings her son. You tell him this. He tells you he is out. You think he is joking, then ask him for money after he did not show up, surprise he was not joking. I would be pissed as well if someone hit me up for money after they changed the original event, and I specifically told them I was not going anymore. YTA
I have no idea if he might have thought the movie was a date but it doesn’t matter. Generally, when you have plans with a friend, and you decide you’d like to add people to the event, the right thing to do would be to ask your friend how they feel about adding more people.
The plan was originally for two people, and you doubled the number of people. It changes the tone of the event. Sometimes that might be fine, other times it might not be. But it’s not fair to make that decision unilaterally.
Especially people said friend didn’t know, one being their child lol
YTA
YTA
>They’d don’t know each other but I didn’t see that as an issue
It’s not your place to decide what is or isn’t an issue for other people. Let them know the situation so they can decide for themself.
>he could have been clearer with saying he no longer wants to go.
He literally said he wasn’t going. How much clearer can he be?
*You* withheld information which influenced whether he would go or not. If you had been up front from the beginning, you wouldn’t be out the cost of his ticket.
Ye I would’ve blocked yo dumb ah too
YTA. He assumed you were going together, the 2 of you, not as a group, including a kid.
And he literally told you he wasn’t going when he learned you were inviting coworkers and kids along. How clearer should he have been? A notarized, certified letter?
I too, wouldn’t want my grownup get-together with 2 adults to suddenly be a family event with people and kids I dont even know.
YTA, easily. Be upfront next time. Something like “I’m inviting a group to this event…would you like to join us?”.
YTA. He agreed to hang out with his friend, not his friend and a stranger. You changed the terms of the outing, which he did not agree to, and for that you are the asshole.
Then he said “no” and you decided that that meant “yes” and are now surprised about that and want him to pay for you…. not listening? And for that you are also the asshole.
YTA. Bringing another person and their kid changes the entire vibe of the night. Especially as they don’t know them. They never agreed to any of it.
He literally said, “I’m not going”, & you think he could have been more clear? What words should he have used?
YTA for completely changing the dynamics of what had been planned. He (rightfully) expected just the 2 of you, not also another person (known only to you) plus a child. You should have checked with him before including the others.