Context: I (20F) live in a college apartment with 3 girls (all 21F)
We share a kitchen/living space, and multiple of my items have been mysteriously damaged to the point of being still usable, but inconvenient (nobody has taken accountability).
Some examples:
\-Measuring cups: handle is snapped off
\- Cutting board: non-slip corner lost (board does not sit flat)
This would not be an issue for me, except I am in a completely different financial situation from all of my roommates: I do not have money to spend on things other than necessities, whereas all of them come from wealthy families and get sent extra spending money regularly.
This only matters because I see the way they treat their belongings (not nicely), and they are genuinely able to replace any object with no financial distress.
Now, my belongings are mostly gifts from my mom and my brother (measuring cups and cutting board included) that I cannot replace on my own.
AITA for wanting compensation/replacement for the things they’ve damaged?
Again, nothing is completely broken; it is just very obvious that my roommates are careless with my belongings. I wonder if I should say something about it? Or stop letting them use my things? I have spoken to them about smaller issues in the past and have been met with nothing but stubbornness, so I find it hard to have a productive conversation.
Additionally, my lease ends in \~3 months (I have been living with them for 7), so I’m not sure if I should just stick it out, or say something about it, in case something more valuable is broken.
AITA, and do you have any advice on how I should handle this???
NTA for wanting compensation
It is always best to not burn bridges. You never know what’s going to happen in the future. Cut your losses, put your stuff away so that they cannot damage anything else and don’t say anything. you’ll be done in three months. Good luck!!
NTA- however- I’m someone who picks my battles.
They don’t know the value of money. So if you go to them about everything, it’s going to create tension and brushing you off.
Pick and choose what you ask to be reimburse. Measuring cups & cutting boards can be replaced at the dollar store. Yes, it won’t be the same quality I’m sure of what you have, but that way you can replace at a low cost versus something they break like a pan or pot that you can’t.
the wealth disparity here is actually the thing that makes this messier than a standard roommate conflict, because they genuinely wont feel the financial sting of replacing your stuff the way you would. that said, three months is so close and honestly asking for compensation when theyve already shown stubbornness about smaller issues is probably just gonna create more tension you dont need right now, especially since nothings actually unusable yet
NTA, I think it’s fair to ask. “Hey guys I’ll be moving out soon and I was wondering if you guys could help replace some small things that have been damaged from the shared use since I don’t have the funds to keep replacing stuff.” And find similar items and show them the price. It’s not like it’s a le creuset pot. If I had a roommate that asked, if I had more funds than them (even if I didn’t break the stuff) I’d pitch in just because yeah that stuff happens when you share things with people and I’m not gonna start any drama over like $25-50.
NTA, OP. I had a similar situation years ago where things went missing, including my car! I would suggest keeping your things separate until you move out.
Def ask for them to replace some of the items, if possible, using the language other people have suggested. But don’t expect them to comply. Be prepared to be disappointed.
And I hope you find a better living situation in 3 months!
NTA but I wouldn’t bring it up. Odds are good no one claims responsibility and odds are even worse they replace those items or give you money.
I’d take the L and ride out the lease. They’ve proven to be poor roommates.
Pardon, measurements cups and spoons, CUTTING BOARDS???? You shared???? YOU TOSS THOSE!!! ANY pots and pans!!!!
You can purchase measuring cups and cutting boards extremely cheaply, like a dollar each. It is a bad use of your energy to chase people to repay you for simple items that were put out for general use.
Take it as a lesson not to put your good things out for general use.
Don’t turn the environment toxic over a couple dollars. Your mental health is not worth it.
Also, don’t turn it into a class warfare issue. Students, regardless of socio-economic status are notorious for destroying household objects. Take it as part of the experience and move on.
YWBTA to yourself if you let this metastasize into a horrible situation over a few simple household objects.
NTA if you need to just take some of their things and sell them to replace yours. seems fair.
If I were you I’d go put away my visible possessions so they won’t be tempted to mess with them. You know out of sight out of mind. If you confront them asking for compensation or replacement they’re just going to make fun of you and call you a whinny baby. I really wouldn’t say too much. Just quietly plan your escape and try to find roommates that will allow you peaceful enjoyment of your home. Good luck and God Bless.