I feel like this might make me sound like a terrible person, but I’m genuinely curious what people think. My girlfriend has a dog that I honestly struggle to like. I’ve tried for a long time to convince myself I’m just being a bad person or that I should automatically love him because he’s her dog, but living with him has been really frustrating for me.
He drools constantly, farts all the time, snores extremely loud, and has really high anxiety where he basically needs constant attention and reassurance. He’ll wipe his drooly face on the couch and will literally sit there staring at you while you’re eating with drool hanging out of his mouth. On walks he’s also really difficult. He doesn’t listen well, will randomly run the opposite direction, or drag behind and refuse to move. My girlfriend almost never walks him on a leash and his recall skills are honestly pretty bad. I personally don’t believe in letting dogs walk around without a leash, so when I’m the one stuck doing the morning walks I put one on him and it turns into a struggle every time.
Another thing that drives me a little crazy is that she feeds him human food pretty often. I get that people want to spoil their dogs because their lives are short, but there are plenty of dog treats and healthier alternatives and I feel like giving him human food just reinforces a lot of the behavior.
For context, I also have a dog, a cocker spaniel, but he’s very low maintenance and well behaved. Recently my girlfriend pointed out that I treat my dog differently than hers, which is probably true. My dog listens, doesn’t have the same behavioral issues, and is generally easy to live with. I’m not mean to her dog and I still help take care of him when needed, but I definitely don’t enjoy being around him the same way.
One time I got really frustrated during a walk and raised my voice at him, and he immediately started shaking and ran away like he was having an anxiety episode, which honestly made me feel terrible afterward.
I’ve carried a lot of guilt about feeling this way because she obviously loves him and I don’t want to hurt her feelings. At the same time, living with him can be genuinely stressful for me and I feel like I’m constantly walking on eggshells around the situation.
So AITA for not liking my girlfriend’s dog and treating my dog differently?
ESH. While I can completely understand WHY you don’t like the dog and treat yours differently (although you don’t really offer any examples) my problem is you’re blaming the dog. It sounds like your girlfriend has made zero attempts to train him, and is the source of many if not all of his bad habits.
Not your job, but have you looked into training him yourself, or with a professional?
I’m also curious how she treats YOUR dog.
She should be seeking training or meds for his anxiety as well! Having a dog that has constant anxiety isnt good for anyone. If he has a panic attack if someone raises their voice thats a problem and that mixed with poor recall can end in disaster.
Sounds like you’re frustrated by (fairly minor sounding) behaviour issues.
The 3 of you could always go to some training classes to work on the behaviour issues. It also helps you bond both as a couple and with the dog. Nothing so good for a relationship smas tackling a problem as a team.
Giving human food will only reinforce a bad behaviour if its given while the dog is doing a bad behaviour. (But likely doesn’t help the farts).
If you follow this advice, go to a rewards based trainer.
These sounds minor, but minor things can feel major when you deal with them repeatedly every day.
NTA, not a dog owner (and you don’t actually have to reply) but isn’t it normal to love your own dog/pet more than your partner’s?
I’m going to go with NTA, but your girlfriend is the issue not the dog. It’s up to her to train her pup properly you need to bring it up to her.
NTA and lemme guess, french bulldog? 😂
Yes French bulldog lol
Nta man I have been around dogs like That and it is just mildly infuriating all the time. If your GF refuses to leash train her dog and reinforces begging behavior by giving it food (something that drives me up the WALL) and it’s causing issues, it sounds like a lot of her problem. Bring it up with her, but be warned it can be a touchy subject. A lot of people aren’t willing to hear anything about the way they treat their animals, especially if they think you’re being unfair to said animals.
You’re not upset at the dog, you’re upset that she’s a terrible owner which is very fair
I’d be nervous about what this will look like long-term. You get married, pick out a dog together, OP does all the training and then she disregards all of it, lets the dog off leash despite OP’s discomfort, and feeds it human food they haven’t agreed on? Yikes
The dog has digestive problems because he is eating human food. He has never been properly trained and is at the mercy of the two of you. Get him to a vet to be evaluated and put on a healthy diet. Take him for training. Be his friend, he needs one. Your GF is the problem, not the dog.
But is the answer that OP who already doesn’t enjoy this dog to then takeover more of its care? Is he paying for the vet bills and diet plan and time taken to train? He might be if the gf refuses.
Some answers could be solved by it getting healthier, but it also sounds like a specific breed in general that drools etc and is higher maintenance. Which is what OP doesn’t like in the first place
NTA
I get it. Huskies, boxers, and bulldogs are some breeds that you couldn’t pay me to live with.
NTAH. You don’t hate the dog. You hate the way he was trained (or his lack of training).