I (F17) participated in this year-long program, and its graduation ceremony is coming up. One of the things the program has asked parents to do for it is to write a letter, so that the students can have a nice note waiting for them on their chair at the ceremony.
Last night, my mom (in her 40s) told me that she was writing the letter as a rhyming poem. For context, my mom uses Chatgpt for absolutely **everything**. She uses it to write all her emails and texts, and I have seen her use it to write birthday cards and even sympathy messages. If she has a question, she will pull up the app and ask Chat. I have tried multiple times in the past to tell her about the environmentally damaging effects of using AI, but she still uses it.
Anyways, after my mom told me what she was working on, my first thought was “oh, she’s probably using AI for it.” So, I asked her if she was, and she got very uncomfortable and avoided answering the question. Based on her response, I knew that she was indeed using AI to help write the poem. I immediately told her that I didn’t want her to use AI for something personal like this, and that I didn’t want some Chatgpt-generated, robotically written letter. I told her I would rather have something genuine and made by her, even if it was bad, because it would be better than anything created by a robot. I asked her to please rewrite it without using AI, because I wanted something from her. I ended it by stating that if in the end, she did give me something written by AI, I would throw it out and it wouldn’t mean anything to me (which, now, looking back, might have been a bit too mean?) I didn’t press the issue further after that.
Today, I walked into the kitchen with my dad, and she immediately started telling him to write the letter instead of her. She told me, “I’m using AI as a guide to ask it for words that rhyme for my poem. Do you still not want my letter?” And I told her, “Yes, I still don’t want your letter.” I said that because I was thinking that if she only needed help with finding words that rhyme, she simply could have used Google or a rhyming words website that will just give you what you need. But she didn’t. Which is why I suspect that she was actually using AI to write whole sentences of the poem and not just for finding rhyming words.
After I told her this, she broke down in tears. She started calling me a “shit daughter” in front of my dad and sister (who is 7 years old) and saying that I was “full of shit.” My dad tried to calm her down by saying that he would write the letter instead, and then my mom retreated to her room.
Anyways, that is the whole situation as of now. Am I valid for telling her that I don’t want her letter, because she used AI to write it? AITA in this situation?
TLDR: Parents have to write a letter for their students at this graduation ceremony, and I found out my mom was using AI to write it. AITA for telling her I didn’t want it, because she used AI to write it?
no. ai is garbage.
NTA
I’m glad your dad has your back.
NTA. Not at all. I think you may have tried nicely to get her to understand how you felt about it but she pushed the boundary.
Good for you for standing up for yourself and keeping your integrity. I’m very proud of you. I wish I had had that kind of self confidence, sense of self worth and courage to maintain it that you do at 17.
NTA – Sorry that CrapGPT has fried your mom’s brain. I’ve also seen people in my life defend the slop bots over people. Wild thing to witness.
It’s like a cult at this point. Regular users will ignore actual facts to keep supporting this “tool” that is destroying the planet and our society and isn’t even making anyone actual money (except the companies selling the hardware). My boss is like this too and it drives everyone nuts. Dude legit thinks we can’t tell he’s using it to write his email responses. Spoiler: everyone can tell, because his answers to very basic questions make no sense.
NTA. The letter should be her pouring her heart out to you. She just cares about sounding clever.
She cares more about sounding clever than sounding like herself.
NTA, a letter that didn’t come from her heart is meaningless. It’s better to have nothing. She’s so brainrotted she’s even outsourcing the parts of her life she should enjoy.
**NTA of course not**. And you are definitely not anywhere close to a *shit daughter* for wanting something loving and personal from your mother.
Your mom needs to take a time out and take accountability not just for her actions towards you, but also her lack of accountability for relying on GPT to write sympathy and other cards for her loved ones.
I’m so sorry this must be rough for you. Hopefully she can come to her senses on her own. Maybe your dad can help.
You should be proud of standing up for yourself.
NTA. How DARE she call you a shit daughter! That is absolutely disgusting.
NOTHING YOU SAY SHOULD EVER LEAD TO YOUR PARENT CALLING YOU A “SHIT DAUGHTER” especially in front of a 7 year old!!! The fact your dad isn’t outraged and shocked at that by the sounds of it leads me to believe your mother often has issues regulating her emotions and taking it out on you?
It is fine for someone to criticise you for a behaviour they find hurtful, or at least to express that in a reasonable way. It is NOT fine to SCREAM at your teenage child about something they ARE (and you are not at all a bad daughter in my opinion by the way). That is so damaging and I’m sorry you’re being treated this way over a very normal boundary.
She’s essentially offering to buy you a pre printed hallmark card she’s slotted your name into, maybe put it in those terms once she’s calmed down a bit, she might understand that a little better than the environmental impacts which might seem abstract and faraway to her.
NTA. AI is garbage. My Mom was bitching at me in texts one day and when I called her out she wrote an apology using ChatGPT. I’m in the position where I was able to block her for two weeks because I was pissed. Sorry you’re going through this OP. You deserve a handwritten letter, not AI slop
The program has asked PARENTS to write a letter.
They have not asked a COMPUTER to write a letter.
Your mother has refused to write a letter.
Those are the facts. NTA.
NTA, and it’s sad your mother thinks glorified predictive text can ever take the place of something a person has taken time and care to write.
I don’t know you any more than a chatbot does, but here’s something for your special day:
Dear OP, congratulations as you celebrate your graduation, the culmination of a year of hard work and dedication. I’m proud of you, and all you have achieved, and of your values and commitment to genuine humanity in a time of increasing artificiality. May your future be bright and your heart remain open. Blessings to you, from an internet stranger