So I(19F) Just had a conversation about Mother’s Day with my mom. She told me that she found the family outfits to wear for Mother’s Day. And I thought that it would be cute to all dress up together and go out. So she shows me the outfits and not only is it a little girl on the front picture, she’s an a dress. I for one, do not like wearing dresses. They make me uncomfortable and I don’t like how they feel. I only wear them for special occasions and formal events if it’s required. I asked her if I can find an outfit that matches the ones that she found that isn’t a dress. She tells me that I’m selfish for not wanting to wear a dress. i’ve had these types of problems with her before where she would talk about how she doesn’t like how I do my hair and that she LET me do my hair the way I did. I just don’t understand how me not wanting to wear a dress for Mother’s Day makes me selfish.
NTA you are legally an adult. I would just tell her you will not be wearing a dress and if she can not abide by your boundary than you will not be particpating in any mother day activites.
NTA your mother sounds controlling AF.
NTA, she’s being selfish for wanting you to be uncomfortable for her benefit
Nta. It’s about control. She’s picking what you wear and how you look. Instead she should be happy you want to spend time with her.
NTA. Love when Mother’s Day is weaponized for emotional leverage. “If you loved me, you wouldn’t be so selfish and just wear the dress.” Sounds like a pattern. You’re 19. You didn’t even turn down the whole “matchy” idea outright, just asked for a variation. Sounds like she still wants you to be a child, and that’s not your problem.
NTA she wants you to be something you aren’t. Ask if she’d prefer you to not go.
You’re an adult. No means no.
You can make a commitment with her: “Okay, I will wear a dress on Mother´s day only if you stay away of my outif decisions the rest of the year.”
And then just watch her reaction.
NTA – I had the same kind of mom. Stand your ground, this isn’t about you at all but about her and her need to have control.
I stopped choosing what my kids wore pretty much as soon as they were able to express a preference. The idea of adult children dressing to please me is baffling. I’m just glad to see them and spend time with them.
Please tell your mum her request is unreasonable and makes you feel uncomfortable. If she isn’t prepared to explore this with you and understand you better maybe you shouldn’t attend? Though I understand that might be difficult. Families can be hard. Look after yourself and keep being true to you x
NTA. By your mother’s own reasoning, she’s being selfish by wanting you to wear something she knows you’re not comfortable in.
NTA. My mom was constantly trying to get me in frilly dresses. I hated it. Rebelled constantly. You’re an adult. Wear what you want. Tell your mom that if she wants you to be on theme she’ll find an on theme outfit for you that includes pants, otherwise you will show up in whatever you want, but you’re not wearing the dress. Let her have a meltdown. Just ignore it and keep your boundary.
NTA. To be frank I don’t understand the need for you to wear a dress or for outfits to match. That reads very much like your mom just wants pictures for social media.
Thank you!
I couldn’t get past the “matching outfits for Mother’s day”.
I’m a 65 year old mother of 4; I’ve never heard of this til now.