So last week I casually invited my two of my friends (f) to dinner at my place. I initially proposed going out but they said they don’t feel like going out that weekend because they had to study.
The day before the dinner we finalised the plan but didn’t agree on a specific time or meal. The next day I texted them that I needed to know what they wanted to eat because I was grocery shopping in an hour. (They are both quite picky eaters) My one friend replied with „something good“. After I haven’t gotten any further answer I decided to make vegan meatloaf with mashed potatoes since they both like potatoes and burgers.
I texted that to the groupchat and my one friend replied with „Ew“ and the other one with „cute but that sounds so unappealing“ followed with „when do we need to know if we‘ll be coming?“ to which I replied „as soon as possible“ (I was quite perplexed because I thought plans were fixed.
An hour later my one friend said that they both wouldn’t be coming because they didn’t like neither meatloaf, especially not vegan one nor mashed potatoes. Also they needed to study and maybe wanted to go out later but I could tag along if I wanted to. I declined. Being asked why I replied that I needed to cook because I already bought all the ingredient. To that she accused me of being passive aggressive(which I admittedly was) and told me if I wanted them to come I shouldn‘t have bought something they didn’t like. I then said, that they should\`ve clearly told me what they wanted to eat and not just ignore my message. To that she didn’t respond and just said I was overreacting.
Now I don’t know if me being mad is justified because technically I didn’t ask them but they could‘ve come over anyway and I would have made them Spaghetti or something. So am I overreacting? So AITAH?
Edit: Just to clarify some things: 1) The meatloaf is not made out of beyond/impossible/whatsoever meat, it’s made out of soy-flour, lentils and chickpeas that are grind up. It’s a family recipe and is wildly eaten and liked in my family. I’ve made it before. 2) I offered to make them an alternative (Spaghetti) but they didn’t give a distinct answer on that 3) I specifically made meatloaf because I thought it was an universally well liked food (A missconception on my part here) and I wanted to make a more elaborate dish so it was special (I can make Nudels with tomatoe sauce in like 6 minutes)
NTA.
Are you sure these women are your friends? They sound insufferable.
honestly the “ew” response alone would’ve annoyed me
Thats what I thought too
Your friends sound pretty rude. While your meal menu wouldn’t sound too appealing to me either, I wouldn’t have the lack of manners to respond as they did.
They didn’t want to eat out, they gave you no specific answers when you *asked* what they wanted (*that spaghetti you made once was really great*), then they sneered at what you were going to make.
You’re NTA
NTA. Invited my book club girls over last month after a hellish grading week—whipped up spaghetti, one bails last minute over “too much garlic.” We drank the wine anyway and dished about book bans. Real friends show up hungry or bring their own damn plate.
OP allow me to be a jerk for a moment:
Your friends are coming over for dinner. You are tasked with cooking a tasty meal…
…and you pick Vegan Meatloaf? Bleh. Maybe you make a kickass meatloaf that would knock their socks off but until they put a pice in their mouth it’s going to sound like an unappealing and strange choice of main dish.
Why not make spaghetti with meatballs, or hamburgers or steaks. Something that nearly everyone can get down with? ALSO aren’t these your pals? You should know what foods they enjoy by now to not have to make wild guesses like this.
The mashed potatoes side dish was fine. Definitely playing it safe with that one, which is good if you have no clue what the other’s like to eat.
Cooking vegan meatloaf after saying “they are picky eaters” is definitely a bold choice.
Although the friends suck, for not communication and especially the “ew” comment.
Only a vegan would think a person liking burgers would naturally lead to vegan meatloaf sounding appetizing.
Vegan meatloaf sounds like the kind of thing someone would come up with if they’re trying to get you to hate vegans
ESH.
They were unhelpful and useless.
You chose a nasty entrée. Vegan *meat* loaf? Wtf dude.
NTA. You asked, they could not be bothered to answer, and then responded like spoiled brats when you made a choice. If I didn’t get around to answering a query like that and they chose to make something I didn’t think I’d care for, I’d eat it anyway because it’s on me that I didn’t respond. Who knows, maybe I’d like it. Now, you admitted you were being passive aggressive and that’s not a great response; if you’re hurt, make it known, don’t be catty about it.
well it’s just interesting that your default meal when no one answers is vegan meatloaf. so i’ll say NAH
Are you sure they’re your friends?
NTA. That being said, if they like burgers and potatoes and are not vegan, feeding them vegan meatloaf is a poor idea.
As an omnivore, I’ve found most vegan substitute traditional dishes not good. The meat substitutes in particular are gross to many of us. Particularly when you still give it the traditional label. “Meatloaf” to me instantly primes my brain and taste buds for my mom’s meatloaf. If I bite into Beyond Beef instead, it will taste terrible. And it’s not healthy. If I’m going to eat something unhealthy, it better taste good!
I do enjoy vegan meals that are simply yummy dishes composed of only normal plant foods. Do something him with chick peas or lentils, some other vegetables, and fun seasoning and you can have a great meal.