posting for a friend.
I’m an Au-Pair for a family with two kids in a suburb. I don’t have a close relationship with my host parents. They only let me know a day before they were leaving town for Christmas with the pets. The parents have nice jobs and travel regularly to New York (several states over) for their work and I’m left alone with the kids for multiple days.
with advance notice, I traveled to see my friend in another state. I picked a cheap flight which was a rd eye and I got back to the house at 6:30am. The host mom was very upset saying it was not a reasonable time. I had another trip booked for a holiday and my flight gets back to the airport at 1 am. The host mom was even more upset and flat out said “that is not okay”.
AITA?
How do your flight times impact them in any meaningful way?
Au pairs typically live with the family. I imagine OPs (or OPs friend) might be making noise/potentially waking the family during those hours. That’s the only thing I can think of.
Or was meant to be looking after the kids from 7.30 and wasn’t really awake enough to do so
I think slight YTA. 6:30am I don’t think is unreasonable considering most kids/parents I know get up around that time, however 1am is not great. I know it probably seemed like a non-issue to you but I could see why a family would get upset if they were woken up at an unreasonable hour due to you coming/going.
On the day that you returned at 6:30 AM, were you scheduled to watch the kids that day? How were you able to do that if you were running on no sleep?
If that’s not the issue (like you had that day off), maybe it’s just that when you come back to the house late at night, it’s waking the family up? I feel like it would be hard to sleep through someone coming in, unpacking, etc.
Also how much the parents travel is irrelevant to this.
I think YTA.
agree. the parents’ travel is irrelevant–except that I don’t understand how they are leaving town for Christmas with their pets, and leaving their kids behind? something lost in translation perhaps.
seems like what i’d expect from a family with an au pair
Maybe she just doesn’t like your friend traveling because she has to find alternative childcare.
Is this about the time you’re coming into the house, like disturbing the family? Or about the times you’re available for work? I’m a bit lost
NTA but you need to talk to your local coordinator about being left alone with the kids overnight. That’s vastly beyond the Au Pair role and inconsistent with the agreement that they have signed.
If you’re available when you’re scheduled to work, there is not a problem unless you’re relying on them to get you from the airport.
You need au pair support not AITA.
Are you expecting them to pick you up? Are you scheduled to work that day? Do you get paid for the extra hours when they go away on work trips?
Au pairs and being completely taken advantage of – a combination as famous as steak and chips.
Pin down expectations, and then stick to them. You are allowed to take holidays or travel, and she has to reasonably expect some disruption because she has a young adult living in her house as an employee not a child.
Update: the issue is probably waking them up although I’m quiet. I do not have to work till the afternoon on the days I arrive overnight and I live on the first floor, whereas everyone else is on the second
Regarding Christmas, I just meant I only get information last minute, and that it was a bit cold considering I didn’t know anyone in America at that point and expected to stay at the home alone