For context, I’m a 20M with ASD so I get money from the government and I use it to help my family pay for things like electricity and groceries because I know for a fact I get it back every month from the government. Please be aware that I’ve been incredibly angry over this so details may have been blurred or mistaken; take with salt.
This starts with me buying myself cereal to last me a while, a 36 pack so I know I have more than enough to last me two or three weeks. One day I moved the family box of cereal to grab mine and noticed that they were running out, so I placed an unopened sleeve from my box in there for them (this is important for later). Couple days later my dad asks me if I can lend two biscuits for my younger sibling because they had no cereal, knowing I had more cereal and the ability to get more, I agreed. If I remember correctly, he gives them one later that night.
The day before the incident I note that he gives my sibling the last biscuit and nothing else happens. Now we’re on Wednesday, the day of the incident. I go downstairs to manage the bins and get them emptied and the recycling bags on the street when I see him giving my sibling more cereal from my box and stand there a little confused. He takes notice, words get tossed around with him interrupting me for most of it and he tells me that the cereal "isn’t mine" because he took a sleeve beforehand from the family box into my box without telling me.
I was surprisingly very calm this time, then he threatened me (I think he did, I heard "I’ll stick it where the sun doesn’t shine," but he could’ve said something else). That’s when I start to get my back up, but I still had enough control to tell him I had to do the bins when he kept telling me to "go away," waiting until he replied to grab the bins in the same room as me. He replies, and I go to grab the bins, he comes forward and grabs me by my shoulders and push me, I push back yelling and we’re separared.
Fast-forward to today, I now hide a bigger box of cereal in my room and have to ask for milk because of my "behaviour towards my family." I bought my own instead, I’m really annoyed but I still feel like I did something wrong.
Edit: I forgot to mention why me putting a sleeve of my cereal is important, that was the sleeve he out back in my box. Which at least to me, means he was either lying about my sibling having no cereal (which is why he asked), or lied about putting cereal in my box.
So Reddit, AITA?
To be clear:
You buy your own cereal
Your dad buys cereal for the whole family
Your dad took cereal he bought for the whole family into the spot for just your cereal
Your dad later took cereal from the spot that was supposed to only have your cereal, and gave it to your siblings. He said it’s okay because he previously gave you cereal.
Is that accurate?
I am genuinely so confused by the cereal part but your father laying hands on you is not ok and makes him the AH. The cereal is not the issue here. NTA.
NTA, but this is the kind of thing you need to let go and not argue about if it’s not a recurring issue
This isn’t the first time it’s happened, but it’s the first time I’ve started keeping my cereal in my room
NTA You’re using your own funds which means you go without if someone takes it from you. It’s yours.
What?
Once again I feel like I’m having a stroke with these convoluted, confusing posts LOL
INFO So you lent your father cereal, and he paid it back by putting a sleeve in your box? But then he took from the “pay back” sleeve in your box, without asking you?
If yes: since he technically only lent 2 biscuits from you, maybe he thought he would just use the extras in the pay-back-sleeve in your box? His other option would be to remove only 2 biscuits from a new full sleeve and put them in your box, which might feel messy?
(I say your family technically only lent 2 biscuits because you put the first full sleeve into their box by yourself. Which was very nice).
What are you mad about? Them forgetting to buy cereal and taking yours without permission, or your father getting angry when you reacted to it?
He didn’t pay it back at all, that was still my sibling’s cereal apparently. He claimed he put it in there so it isn’t rattling about in the cupboard.
Weird of him, especially since he probably knows you are particular about your cereal. He should respect that. And never lay hands on you or threaten you.
This might be an age issue too. You are 20 now, and seem to want more of a room mate situation than a family that shares everything (at least with the cereal). I can see how this dynamic could be frustrating if your family have differnt ideas of what should be shared.
Keeping your cereal (and non sharing items) in your room makes sense as a “room mate”. But then you would also buy (and label) your own milk.
That’s a lot of drama for a box of cereal. Both of you overreacted. Just talk like normal adults. Your father shouldn’t put his hands on you tho, that’s wild.
It is so much unecessary drama, I just wanted to know why he’s taking cereal out of my box (this isn’t the first time he’s done this, only this time I’ve decided to hide my cereal away because I’ve had a gutsful)
Genuinely – why do you care?
NTA. This isn’t really about cereal. It’s about respect and boundaries. You’re already contributing financially, and you even shared your food before.
Your dad taking your things without asking and then getting physical crosses a much bigger line than anything you did.