We previously were together August 2023-December 2024 and we’ve known each other for 15 years. She seemed to have some idea that I was into my vehicles and storage space more than her, just because our time together would always be at my unit where my trucks are. I just never really wanted to bring her to my apartment since my step mom and I live there and that’s just for us really. Plus I like to drive around in my truck too. There were times I wouldn’t get back to her texts sometimes for a day or so mostly because I’m at my unit doing something with my trucks if I’m not working.
She’d try to get me into like eating out with her and she’d offer to pay but I prefer not to be seen in public because what if someone like customers from work recognize me, or someone asks “who’s that girl with you” then I have to explain and I really don’t want to.
Then the past year we decided to try again being together but one time when it was just her mom and I she said that she feels like I don’t get back to her enough or it takes a while to hear from me. I guess I can see how that looks and since the past year it does take me a week to respond. But I’m just still processing how she left me in December 2024. We did end things mutually in July 2025 and I borrowed $100 from her because I was short for my car insurance and I hadn’t reached out in a few weeks then I did and paid her back and that was the last I saw her, but she still reaches out to me sometimes sharing stuff or trying to chat. I just don’t really have time to respond unless it’s my step mom or work, and again I do purposefully distance myself because I don’t want to be hurt by her again. I just don’t reach out to her because I don’t need to reach out, I can finally do what I was doing before I was involved with her in the first place, working on my trucks, work, and going home. I did ask her mom once if she’s with anyone but I guess she isn’t, particularly asked if she and her other friend are a thing since I notice them getting close and they do everything together let alone work together, but her mom says it’s just a friend thing almost like a brother/sister bond. I’ll admit I don’t really want her to see anyone.
YTA go marry your truck! I understand that people have hobbies they like, but she is trying to connect with you and all you did is lock her up on your unit with your truck. Its like you can’t move away from your truck ever! Even for a few hours.. tsk for girl i hope she finds someone who could actually give her some time. And whats with your workmate seeing both of you? Like so what? She is your girlfriend!! Well.. she was 😏
YTA for the second paragraph alone. You didn’t want to be seen with her in public because someone might ask who she was?
YTA
I’m sorry you were hurt. Your post also makes me think you are into the trucks more than anything else. I support being yourself but not without any self awareness. Taking weeks to reply to messages says you have no romantic interest in her.
>I prefer not to be seen in public
>what if someone like customers from work recognize me, or someone asks “who’s that girl with you” then I have to explain and I really don’t want to.
Do you have any idea of what that does to a person? When they figure out that you’re ashamed of them on some level? That you’re hiding them from anyone you might know, including your step mom?
>I’m just still processing how she left me in December 2024.
You’re still punishing her. For whatever happened 2 years ago. Let her go, let her live her life. She deserves someone who wants to be with her, who values her time, and who doesn’t micro-punish her at every given opportunity.
And do it for yourself as well. You sound miserable.
YTA
Yes. YTA.
Why do you care if someone you know sees you out with a friend? Why can’t you communicate with a friend of 15 years? It takes 15 seconds to send a text or voice message and you can’t even be bothered to put that effort into your friendship? How do you *not* have time to send a text?
You are weirdly possessive of someone you don’t give a fuck about, too. Pay her the hundred and either grow up and put effort into this friend or tell her you don’t have time to give her anymore and end it.
YTA!! Y’all were together and you wouldn’t invite her to your home and didn’t want to be seen in public with her. You only reached out to her to borrow money. Awful
YTA – You don’t want to be hurt by her again??
You refused to let take her to your apartment because that was “your space” for you & your stepmom. You refused to be seen with her in public because you didn’t want to be asked who she was? All you wanted to do was drive around in your truck or have her hang out at a storage unit watching you work on your truck?
Please explain exactly what you think she was getting out of this “relationship”, particularly since it seems that the entire “relationship” had to be on your terms and your terms alone.
If you don’t want to be the AH, just be honest with her and tell her that you don’t want anything to do with her instead of just ignoring her.
I’m not sure what you want here…..
You don’t want to be seen with this person in public.
You don’t bother messaging this person for days because you are (checks notes) busy tinkering with your car.
You don’t seem to care for them and yeah…YTA.
Not even sure what this post is about but for the way you treat people yta
Umm this is weird…your behavior in relationships really sucks tbh. Not wanting to bring her over or be seen with her and not responding in a reasonable time frame. Response is respect. How long you wait to respond is clear lack of respect. Since you’re not together anymore and you don’t seem to want anything to do from her I’d say NTA for not wanting to respond now. But why are you asking her mom about her if you don’t even care about her? That’s so weird.
YTA. “She’s good enough to borrow from but not to be seen with” is a pretty sucky attitude.
So you don’t want to see her, but you don’t want her to see anyone else. YTA! Go on with your life and let her go on with hers.
You don’t want to be with her unless it’s on your terms. You ignore her until it’s convenient for you. and you don’t want her to see anyone else. Her life isn’t yours to dictate. YTA
I didn’t read past the “I didn’t wanna be seen in public with my gf because what if someone asks who she is” part
YTA and it’s one of the easiest calls I’ve ever seen on this board
YTA you don’t like her and we see it. I’m sure she does too.