My mom is a 37 year old, 2 kids. Me and my sibling. She’s been toxic & unhealthy relationships.. she never been too good with love. Her past relationships has always affected our life. Going from stable to unstable in any and every aspect. Which has gotten me to a point in life where I am extremely exhausted with everything. She hasn’t been in a relationship for almost 2 years, her ex passed and within that same month (near the end) she decided to finally date once again . This person has contributed absolutely nothing to the house, made my situation worse, caused us to become homeless and etc. within 2-3 months of knowing him. He has moved in our apartment in the first three weeks, lived off of our food, had no job, “borrowed” the rent money and all money given to her BY me!! He drinks everyday & NIGHT. Wakes up, Drink. Before bed, Drink.
He’s arrogant & a pain in the ass. Now, we’re evicted from our apartment because she kept spending the money on him. She received her tax refund, just for it to be gone within 2 weeks. I received NOTHING as her daughter. She waited until the last moment of going completely broke to contact me (We stopped talking for 4-6 days because we had disagreements), told me her situation was bad and wanted out.
ONLY to find out she still communicating with him and went back with him TONIGHT not even a day later. I blocked her. He’s called her a loser and so forth. I told my mother if he’s going to be around her or in her life in general that I wasn’t going to be apart of it. I wouldn’t want to be around her at all nor help her with shit. I would rather figure out how to live on my own. My mother replied that I was wrong as a child and I should stay in place. 🫠
INFO: How old are you and your sibling?
I’m 19 years old and my sibling is 9 years old
Do you have family you and your sibling can stay with?
OP- NTA. If you are 18 + , get a place of your own- or with other roommates. Don’t bail her out, don’t give her any money. Let her live with her choices. If you are under 18, please contact relatives, or other trusted adults for help. She is wrong to keep putting you and your sibling through this continuous abusive situation.
NTA. Your unstated age is relevant to determining your options. Stop giving your mother money. It is harmful rather than helpful. “My mother replied that I was wrong as a child and I should stay in place.” She is wrong.
I’m 19 years old, I’ve been trying to create more boundaries and say no.. she always says that im doing the wrong thing as a daughter and she would never do that to her own mother.. and I don’t know.. I just get confused but I definitely am trying to stop the money helping !
INFO
Is there a family member that you and your sibling can stay with that’s close by? How old are you, would you be able to move and get your own apartment?
Im currently living with a friend I met down here.. an older male (48 y/o) with a grandkid & a teen , we moved out of state with no family . My sister is with me.. because her school is down the street. I’m 19 years old.. the way things are going now, I’m not sure if I will be able to get my own place soon.. but I’m trying to save as much as possible
NTA. You are young and wise for your age. She is a toxic person. I wish you had a safe place for both of you. Your sister needs a stable person to help her grow into a better person than her mother is. Reach out to relatives, or even a good family friend. Your sister needs legal help to leave her hime. Please get away from her. Stay strong and get help.