So yesterday, I (20FtM) was home with my daughter, who is 7½ months old. She was taking a nap in her bassinet that we have in the living room, while I was on the couch doing my own thing.
Now, I like routines. Not sure if it’s the autism or the childhood trauma, but either way I get very uncomfortable when said routines are broken. So when both my SIL’s came home from school an hour before they were, I was… Less than happy.
Our two dogs (Loki & Luna, M & F) began yipping and woke her up, which got me annoyed. I picked her up and held her as they came in, talking loudly, borderline shouting as they came in. The dogs were losing their minds, like they always do, and I yelled at them \[the dogs\] to shut up multiple times. Just as my SIL’s (I’ll call them Anne (17F) & Jill (15F) for simplicity’s sake) came into the living room, I hit the cage and told them to shut up again. Anne asked if I couldn’t hit the dogs’ kennel like that since her abusive stepmom used to do the same thing.
Now, that is a totally valid reason for asking someone to not do something, but it is so hard to respect that when she won’t do the same for me. I have trauma & triggers of my own too. Obviously I won’t go into detail but I don’t like yelling, shouting, or door slamming. At best, it makes me uncomfortable. At worst, it can lead me into a panic attack or anxiety attack.
I know deep down that I should respect her wish to not bang on the dogs’ kennels, but the irony is not lost on me when I’ve asked and told her to quiet down, because despite all her years in school, she was never taught what an inside voice is, and it’s infuriating. I could go on and on about all of the annoying stuff she does, but I’ll just keep it to this one thing.
YTA. Your sisters were being normal teenagers. You should use politely asked them to keep it down. Don’t hit the dogs cage. That’s not acceptable.
YTA train your dogs
YTA if you think abusing and scaring innocent animals is okay and using boundaries as an excuse. Wtf is wrong with you.
Dogs bark and yip to communicate. Would you want someone to hit stuff around you to make you quiet down?
Gross animal abuser.
Yta. For how you treat your dogs. If it’s your in laws house than they were coming home like normal. You do not get to impose your rules when you live in someone else’s house. Move out if your don’t like it
YTA, there’s no excuse for abusing the dogs. You were asked nicely to not do it, which shouldn’t have even been necessary. Time to move out and get your own place if you can’t handle living with others.
Maybe having a child wasn’t the best idea
YTA. To your dogs and your SILs. And also to your young child. Teaching them the same trauma as you or your SIL had. Teach your dogs to listen to you or don’t get dogs. Especially with a young child around.
YTA, and you seriously need to rehome those dogs where they won’t be abused then get some professional help before you treat your child the same way.
>it is so hard to respect that when she won’t do the same for me.
This is not about “respecting her triggers” but about not being fucking abusive to poor animals. YTA
>Our two dogs (Loki & Luna, M & F) began yipping and woke her up, which got me annoyed. I picked her up and held her as they came in, talking loudly, borderline shouting as they came in. The dogs were losing their minds, like they always do, and I yelled at them \[the dogs\] to shut up multiple times.
Don’t you think your baby (and her eardrums) will suffer more from you yelling while you are holding her than from your SILs “talking loudly, borderline shouting” from across the room? (Or from the dogs’ barking, for that matter). YTA not only to the dogs, but also to your baby.
YTA. Are you sure that you’re mature enough to take care of a baby?
Your baby was napping in a shared, communal space and you’re mad people were in that space? Do you or your baby not have rooms to sleep in? And if your baby was laying in the bassinet crying and someone smacked the bassinet and told her to “shut up” would you be okay with that? If the answer is no; maybe don’t do it to your dogs either.
What the actual….?
YTA
It sounds like you’re living in their house…your SIL’s. They don’t have to be quiet for you?
And I don’t get the ‘they came home from school an hour before they were…’ They were what?
You have many people in your house, including two dogs and a baby.
If your triggers are so extreme that it makes normal living a challenge, and something for which you have to traumatize your dogs for, then you need to move out, or find a better way to deal with your triggers.
YOU need to train YOUR dogs not to lose their minds over teenagers talking like teenagers. THAT is the core problem here. They are in their crate while you’re at home? Why? YOu yell at them while holding your baby and bang on their crate to get them to stop barking? Jesus. Train your dogs!!!!
YTA
YTA
YTA. Among other things, dogs’ ears are vastly more sensitive than those of humans, and that noise could genuinely damage their hearing. It’s not even your house. They’re teenagers, I assure you yours won’t be much different. Get some therapy because you are not equipped to cope with parenthood.
YTA for hitting the dog cage in the first place.
YTA for even having to think about whether you should respect other people.
You’re doing the exact same things as an abusive person and you need to reflect on that. When the baby cries will you smack it’s crib or shake it??
100% certified Asshole.