I asked a friend 6 months ago whether they wanted to attend a concert with me as I was looking for someone to go with. I also said I would buy the tickets for the both of us if so. They said they would love to go and so I went ahead.
I also confirmed two weeks before to check that they were still interested and they said they were.
Now, 3 days before the event they wish to cancel on me as they’ve decided to do other things. I asked around to see if anyone else l knew wanted to go but I had no luck and with it being such short notice and with the band not being particularly popular to the point that l doubt I’d be able to resell in the time, I asked if they could refund me the money for the ticket.
They said they wouldn’t be able to because they’re in a tough space financially which I’m very understanding of and said I’d be happy for them to just owe the money and pay me back in future.
They got angry over this though and said they shouldn’t be made to pay for something that they’re not going to go to and they don’t need the stress of more debt weighing over them.
AITA?
Did you discuss them paying you back before you bought the tickets, if not, they might have thought you were treating them to a free concert
NTA- still try to resell the tickets, even at a loss, to recoup something. And consider this friendship a wrap. And a learning lesson to never but tickets for someone else.
>they shouldn’t be made to pay for something that they’re not going to go to
This is bullshit. You bought tickets for you and for them based on their stated agreement to go. They agreed with this plan. They owe you for the ticket. You probably won’t get it from them, but let this govern your behavior going forward: never agree to put down money up front for this person again.
The original plan was for OP to pay for both of them to go. The friend was never expected to pay for the ticket until they said they weren’t going to go.
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NTA
They said they wanted to go and you confirmed.
I think this shows you alot about them as a person. When my friends gets tickets for me, I send them the money immediately. They still usually hold the ticket for me and ai have no problem with that. Probably best for you to start having people pay you upfront.
NTA. When you said you would buy both tickets, did you intend for her and tell her that she needed to pay you back, or were these tickets a gift? Either way, I wouldn’t be going to any ticketed events with this friend in the future unless she buys her own ticket, because I don’t expect you’ll be getting your money back.
I didn’t mind buying the extra ticket for them as I was looking for someone to go with but since they’re now not wanting to go and with it being such short notice I’m probably going to struggle to sell the ticket or find another friend to go with so I wanted to recoup the money I’ll likely lose otherwise.
I wouldn’t even mind and would forgive them if they had a genuine reason but they just said they want to do other things so I didn’t think I was being unreasonable but their visceral reaction to the request made me question whether I was being unfair.
The best thing you can do moving forward is to “eat” this thing and learn from it. Good luck!
NTA. But why did you wait 6 months to ask for the ticket money? My friends and I Venmo back for tickets when they’re bought.
Unfortunately, this might be a lesson learned.
Go to the concert alone. If it’s a niche band with passionate fans, you just might make new friends. Don’t let your friends’ decision ruin your night.
Try to give the spare ticket away for free on a fan page or local giveaway group and you might find a plus one.
Your friend is being shitty.
So if they went you’d still be out of money then lol…were they supposed to pay u back regardless or was this u being nice? If u were being nice and not asking for payment back for them going why would u think cuz there not going that they would pay u? I mean im an over thinker and a ppl pleaser so if I was not able to make it I would pay them so they wouldnt feel as bad but thats just me and I dont think ppl think like me lol
NTA
This sort of nonsense is why I want payment upfront from anyone who I am buying a ticket for. They are told I can only afford to buy one ticket unless they pay me now. The fact I could afford to purchase several tickets is irrelevant.
INFO you said youd “buy the tickets for both of us” did you expect your friend to pay you back or were you going to pay for them both?
If you told your friend that theyd have to pay for their ticket, and they still agreed to go, then yes they should pay, regardless if they use it or not.
But if you said youd pay for them, then to turn around and expect them to pay isnt fair.
Either way, unless your friend was sick or something really important come up, they arent much of a friend for flaking on your plans.