I had plans with a dude that we had made about 3/4 days ago, and it was nothing major. I was speaking about the fact that I’m going into town to do some shopping, and he suggested I come over to his after and hang out for a bit as he lives right in the town, completely casual and chill may I add. I agreed because why the hell not, it’s something to do, and he mentioned that he will be working at some points on his computer as he works from home.
Last night, a day before the hangout, I had some unexpected plans during the day that meant that I wasn’t going to be sleeping until late. He messaged me and asked if I’m still coming tomorrow and I jokingly said ‘haha if I’m awake in time’ he then mentioned that I need to respect his working schedule so I said basically in that case why don’t we just hang out on Saturday instead of Friday when he isn’t working.
This afternoon he is messaging he seeming rather angry, saying that I was really disrespectful for cancelling because he apparently rescheduled work meetings because he wanted me to come over, which by the way I did not know he had rescheduled meetings. He made it seem to me that he would be doing bits of work while I was there, nothing about rescheduling work meetings. I can understand how if we had booked an activity or to go somewhere, it would be bad of me to cancel the night before, but for me just going to his house for a couple of hours to chill it didn’t seem like a major deal to change it to a day later as he kept going on about his work.
He is now saying a range of things and saying because I haven’t got a job at the moment I don’t understand him (even though I have worked 4 jobs) and he is saying how my other friends don’t see it as an issue because they apparently don’t work (even though all of my friends do work) and well yeah he is just sending huge paragraphs about how disrespectful I am for suggesting changing the day to Saturday when he isn’t working to make it easier for him!
Can I also add I have only met this person once, and we haven’t been in contact for a long period of time. It just seems like a huge deal has been made out of this and it has left a sour taste in my mouth. But am I the asshole for this?
And he is still going on emphasising about my schedule being free and flexible because I apparently don’t work hard like him even though I am studying!
In the judgement bot, I accidentally put ‘even though I wasn’t aware of these plans’, I had meant to say that I wasn’t aware of him rescheduling meetings.
NTA
NTA.
Plans change, life happens.
Dudes being an entitled dingus.
NTA, but if I’m excited about going out with someone I am moving heaven and earth to keep those plans. This sounds like “I’m just not that into you” situation and whether he realizes it or not his brain is processing it that way.
They have just met once, so it’s natural op is not that exited. Few people get emotions right after meeting someone. Doesn’t mean they can’t be into you
You’ve only met this guy once, and he’s being *this* whiny, critical, and demanding?
Sounds like you should leave it at “met this person once”.
NTA.
Run, don’t walk. This is very manipulative and aggressive for ANYONE, let alone someone you have only met once or twice. NTA.
I was feeling like it was giving signs of manipulation but I wasn’t sure if I was just overreacting about it
NTA, five minutes notice is all that is needed.
ESH. You made plans, you should commit to those plans instead of being flaky. Especially when people go out of their way for you. But he is overreacting, it’s not that big of a deal. And being kind of an asshole about you not “working as hard.”
I would usually commit to my plans, but as mentioned in my post something came up unexpectedly yesterday meaning I was going to get an extremely late night and I was not aware that he had gone out of his way for me until after I had suggested to rearrange
One great thing about getting to know men is that if you mildly inconvenience them and they rage out about it you know that they are probably an awful rage-head and probably you shouldn’t stay friends with them.
NTA, a day in advance for such a casual getogether is not an issue. Apparently it was not so casual for the guy. Anyway, good thing you found out about his behaviour now.