I don’t use Reddit that much, but it’d be easier to get this off my chest. I am 25F share an apartment with my friend and roommate, Sarah 26F. We both have our own cars and normally handle our own expenses. A few weeks ago, Sarah’s car developed mechanical problems the check engine light came on and repairs would cost around $900. She decided to delay fixing it, saying it could “hold up for now,” and asked to borrow my car for a few errands. I agreed, assuming it would just be temporary and limited to necessities like groceries or picking up packages. But soon she started using my car much more taking it out for leisure drives, visiting friends, and running personal errands without checking with me first. I became uncomfortable because I rely on my car for work, pay the insurance and maintenance myself, and didn’t want extra wear or risk. After one weekend when she took the car for a 3hour countryside drive while I needed it, I confronted her and told her she needed to stop using my car for trips that’s not important . I suggested she fix her own car or make other arrangements and I offered to help her with rides when convenient. Sarah got upset, accusing me of being unsupportive and selfish, saying she thought we were friends who shared things. I, however, feel she’s overstepping and taking advantage of my initial kindness, and that if I continued to let her use my car freely that would make her over step her boundaries and create resentment.
Now I’m wondering if I was wrong for setting this boundary and telling her to stop using my car when she technically still has her own. even though her car isn’t broken beyond use, it just needs maintenance.
NTA
Sarah is being entitled and rude, especially taking your car when you need it. I would suggest you tell her that she is not using your car, period, because FAFO.
Nta. You were being taken advantage of and have decided to stand up for yourself. Well done.
If she lives with you, she has to be listed on your car insurance in order to be covered by it. It costs more to have additional people on your insurance. If she crashes your car and your insurance finds out she lives with you and is not on your insurance, they will give you nothing.
Your car insurance covers other divers that don’t live with you. FYI
Be very, very careful with this situation.
The rules about when another person will be covered by your insurance vary from company to company and place to place. There are no hard and fast rules about when a driver not on the policy will be covered. Read your terms and conditions before you lend your car, always.
NTA. Sharing is fine, but you set a reasonable boundary; her extensive use of your property is taking advantage.
NTA.
NTA. You were willing to help her out for necessities, which was generous and the kind of sharing a person might reasonably hope for with a close friend. (Note, not expect – cars are expensive things and car insurance tends to be really picky about other people driving your car, meaning a driver who’s not on your insurance can leave you SOL if they get in a car accident.) You offered to give an inch, and she took a mile. Even if we ignore the financial side of things (which is a big thing that shouldn’t be glossed over), she just took your car for hours for fun without asking, when you needed it. The level of lack of consideration is mind blowing.
If she’d treated this like the big favor it is and kept her use to an appropriate minimum, and asked every time she wanted the car, it sounds like you would have been happy to help out. Instead, she acted like it was her car, and didn’t consider you at all. Deeply, deeply selfish and self-centered on her part.
NTA.
NTA but you will be one to yourself if you don’t take the keys back. If there is a real emergency she can ask as long as you have the right to decline. If you choose to let her use it again, make sure your own insurance covers the usage in case hers does not – and set an expectation of the key being returned immediately when that incident of usage is done.
NTA Is she insured to drive your car though? You did a kind thing by letting her use your car, she abused your kindness! The thing is, she HAS a car herself, she just doesn’t want to pay out to fix it. She’s the selfish one here, not you. You can be friends and share things but that only works when 1 side doesn’t abuse the kindness of the other, like she has done.
Personally, even if she was insured to drive the car, i’d stop letting her use it. She’d then have to get her car fixed. While you are letting her use your car, she has no reason to need do so!
NTA
I go with pretty much no one can borrow my car, besides close family, parents/sibling/spouse. Not worth the liability
She sounds awful and her ungrateful nasty response is all the more proof you’re right.
You werent obligated to let her use your car in the first place she should have been thankful for that regardless of whether that offer ends. Instead she took it as an opportunity to use that as a precedent push the boundaries see how much she can get away with even as it becomes a more and more unreasonable request.
Take your car keys back, keep your car keys on you 24/7, keep them on your nightstand while you are sleeping
When your roommate asks to use your vehicle, tell them No.