Am I the asshole?
I’m a freshman in high school, and I am not an arrogant person, but I am genuinely on track by saying that I am a lot more internally mature than other freshman. I make mistakes sometimes and say things I’m not supposed to, but 99% of the time, I understand what’s going on in a situation. (It also might add a tad to this bit that I am below the average height which I wouldn’t mention regularly but it has affected similar issues before.)
Here is what happened:
I was waiting for my 15 second line in the main cast closing showing of our play (I and a larger understudy part but it doesn’t matter), and there was a scene where the crew ran across the stage, and one of the seniors thought it would be funny to hold up a Styrofoam carving of "67" while running across the stage. I despise "67" and see it as complete and utter brainrot and stupidity, and I know that 80% of adults see it that way and/or very annoying as well. We’ll call the "’67’ runner" person A and the antagonist (in my opinion) person B.
Anyways, when A came off backstage (after running) where I was, all the junior and senior crew were laughing thinking it was the funniest thing ever. I said, "Does no one care that this embarrasses the entire theatre department?" Then, B (a senior girl) told me to shut up and that I was just a freshman. I responded, "Just because I’m a freshman doesn’t mean that I’m not smart enough to understand how older people feel about ’67’." She then proceeds to grip the bottom of my chair, drag me 5 feet over to where she is sitting, stares me dead ass in the eyes and says in literal action movie death threat voice, "Well then you would be smart enough to know that this play is about comedy and about joking around with each other," which is only partially true, not enough to the extent to do something brainrotted and downright embarrassing like that. She then pushes me back to my spot, and I wait while a small crowd for a scene switch clears, and I say, "Did you wake up on the wrong side of the bed or something because I did nothing to be treated like that, I was calm the entire time." She responds in classic mean-girl attitude saying "Why are you still talking to me?" I just walk away and sit absolutely stunned to this girl who I THOUGHT was really nice and respectable, and turned out to be like that.
I just want to know if I’m the one in the wrong here, I just want your honest opinion whether it’s for or against me, because I grow with constructive criticism. I’m also open to answer any questions about the situation. So,
Am I the Asshole?
YTA
Hate to say it mate but you’re going to live a much happier life if you stop butting in to other people’s business.
Can’t do anything to stop them, so why comment?
Ok, you know what?
Part of being “mature” and “adult” is learning to navigate a range of environments without causing social disruption or introducing unnecessary negativity.
You were in a specific social environment, there was a harmless joke going on, people were laughing, enjoying the environment and getting along and you decided to do what with it? Why?
There is a whole diverse range of people in this world, I suggest you learn to sit back and enjoy the scenery a bit more. Or at least learn to not pee over it when other people are sight seeing.
YTA – gently. I think you need to learn to chill out a bit.
YTA because of your superiority complex, you may feel like you’re better then your peers but it seems like you’re just kind of uptight. Just because some adults think that joke is stupid doesn’t really matter, your peers were having fun and didn’t hurt anyone. That part of being a kid, silly jokes and messing around.
YTA. Sorry.
You felt embarrassed and ashamed for them and tried to share that emotion. Most people get irritated when you try to smear them with unpleasant emotions you think they should feel.
ESH. I don’t get the 67 meme either, but: no, they don’t care, because they’re teenagers having fun, and in ten years this is going to be a joyful memory of goofing off for them and it will have affected no one negatively. Yes, it’s very silly, in my old high school theater department it probably would not have been received well, but at the end of the day it’s harmless silly fun.
On the other hand, B was really mean. One unnecessary comment does not warrant dragging someone’s entire chair to reprimand them. Neither the joke nor your reaction needed to be a big deal. I think B comes off worse than you–being a killjoy is annoying, but physically moving you takes the whole thing to the next level.
YTA. You sound like you’re so proud of yourself for being “mature”. a mature person in this situation would roll their eyes and say nothing. B reacted the way she did because you literally tried to shame all of them over nothing.
ESH
Girl shouldn’t have gotten in your face like she did.
>Does no one care that this embarrasses the entire theatre department?”
Doesn’t sound like they were embarrassed at all, and they’re theater department too, with arguably more claim to the title than you.
You made a pretentious and condescending comment. You deserved to be called out, just not in the manner that actually happened.
YTA
They were just joking around and having some fun. They didn’t hurt anyone. This is a fun memory for them to look back on.
Same way we used to have fun with 21.
*sigh* children…
YTA for deciding which women are and are not “respectable”. I can smell the smugness oozing from your post.
YTA. I recommend listening more than talking, and learn to not being surprised that someone is upset when you insult them.
At age 16 we drove around a college area with a chicken hanging out the window yelling “chicken”. It wasn’t a real chicken, but it was a real memory. Adults are morons too, enjoy the moments that you can when you can.
ESH. Yeah, your classmates did a dumb joke and were too hard on you. But you shouldn’t be surprised when sophomores act sophomoric. People in high school are going to do dumb stuff. As dumb stuff goes, “67” is pretty harmless.
But your reaction to “67” 1) does nothing to change anything 2) makes public the sense of superiority that comes through in your description of yourself.
If you were a boomer, I’d make a reference to a great scene in the movie “Stripes” with the line “lighten up, Francis,” when someone took things a bit too seriously.
I don’t want to sound like I’m being hard on you. I was a lot like you in high school–felt smarter than everybody else, misunderstood by my peers, and frustrated by their lack of maturity. But I got better. I tried to lighten up, take people how I found them, and object when something genuinely cruel was happening, not to what’s just a dumb joke. My life got easier. Things do get better.
>”Does no one care that this embarrasses the entire theatre department?”
Oh hon, and I say this as a former theater kid who also thought I was “mature”–do yourself a favor and don’t say things like this. It will make the rest of 9th grade a lot harder than it has to be.
Lighten up–YTA.