Hi everyone! I’m 20F and there are these shoes that I love wearing, they are heels but just a little big on me as I asked my mom if I could have them from her because I love them. I’ve tried to find a different size for them but these shoes have been discontinued. I wear them to college on a daily basis, I have a few friends who I talk to but one of them really hates the fact that I wear them. She says they’re too big on me and she’s scared I’ll fall and trip and hurt myself because recently I fractured my knee (not because of the shoes LOL). Whenever I wear them she gets really upset and lectures me and while I appreciate that she cares, I really love these shoes and have told her a few times that I’ve been fine wearing them. Along with her saying it, my other friend has also started saying it because she heard it from the one that says it constantly. It bothers me because as I said before, I really haven’t hurt myself with them on and it seems like such a non issue but WIBTA?
It’s clear your friends care about your safety, but it’s also understandable that you want to wear something you love. You’re allowed to enjoy your shoes responsibly.
NTA why is your friend so obsessed? Even if she’s “worried for your safety”, you have told her that you can handle it. I would set a firm boundary, “I will not hangout with you if you cannot stop commenting on my shoes.” Or don’t hangout with her when you have those shoes on.
Honestly my first thought is she’s jealous of the shoes but idk. It’s really weird for her to keep pressuring you about them. If you get hurt it’s up to you to decide if you wanna get rid of the shoes or not. Not your friends
NTA. As long as you are aware of the risks, you can wear whatever shoes you’d like.
NTA
Even if they are too big or look silly on you, it would not make you an A.
How big are they compared to your size? What type of shoe is it? This is me being curious and has nothing to do with my answer.
NAH. I’m confused what you think makes anyone an asshole here?
It’s silly to wear heels that don’t fit you, and pretty bad for your feet to walk around in them regularly. But if you’re fine with that, go for it – doesn’t make you an asshole. Your friends are just showing valid concern, which doesn’t make them assholes either.
I can understand why, especially at 20, a friend lecturing you about your footwear feels annoying and controlling, but if your shoes are so large on you that other people can notice they are not the correct size, I feel a little concerned, too! It doesn’t sound like your friends are intending to be unkind, but that they are worried about you and may not have the best methods for expressing that concern.
As a mom, I’m struggling not to lecture you myself on how bad improper footwear can be… but perhaps there are similar shoes you could get in the correct size?
NAH here, I think.
NTA.
They may be well-meaning. Or they might be using “safety” as an excuse, when actually they don’t want you wearing them for another reason. Regardless, it is clearly none of their business.
In my experience, what works when people keep saying the same thing that you don’t need to hear, you should pick a short (5 words max) response and say it every time. It could be anything from “I dress myself, thanks.” to “Not your problem.” to “Next!” to “F\*ck off.” Same phrase, every time, with no further discussion.
(Can also be a nonverbal response, such as a death stare with uncomfortable silence.)
NTA. They’re your shoes and your choice. Your friends can worry, but once you’ve said you’re fine, they need to drop it. Wear what makes you happy.
Put a couple cotton balls or tissues in the toes, if they are closed toe shoes, and problem solved lol
Omg wait thank you I never thought of this!
Wool works even better because it doesn’t break down like tissue or get soggy like cotton. You can get small amounts of wool for felting at craft stores for well under $10.
There are also little silicone adhesive pads that you can stick to the inside of the heel. I’ve used them before on slightly large heels. https://a.co/d/5qwjWPX
No judgement. But how have you not fallen in high-heel shows that are too big for you is beyond me. You’re young, but wearing shoes that don’t fit you will mess up your feet.
It’s your ankles and/or face, do what you want.