I (F17) have an older sister (F23) who got married last weekend. The wedding had all of the extended family from her side and the groom’s, and we both have big families so the wedding was pretty big.
During the reception, my aunt had requested a song from the DJ and went up to the microphone by the dance floor and started singing along to a Katy Perry song. I assumed she just spontaneously did this and that this wasn’t preplanned.
I just assumed this was something any guests could do as a bit later my other sister did the same thing with a different song. Afterwards, I requested a song (Yellow by Coldplay if that makes a difference) and sang it. My sister (the bride) was giving me a weird look with her hands on her hips the whole time.
Towards the end of the reception when most of the guests were leaving, my sister called me embarrassing and asked why I got up and sang at her wedding. I said that I didn’t understand the problem and pointed out that our aunt and other sister also sang. She explained they were preplanned "as a surprise" and songs that she wanted them to sing. She said that I "sing really badly" and she hadn’t asked me to sing, and that I shouldve checked with her. I was really taken aback because no one mentioned to me they were planned to sing, how was I supposed to know?
I felt really embarrassed and apologised (although I didnt really mean it I just wanted the conversation to be over) and she said that her wedding isn’t about me. I think she’ll get over it but AITA?
Look, everyone knows a wedding reception isn’t spontaneous karaoke, so yeah, YTA for not reading the room and just grabbing the mic.
An aunt singing a Katy Perry song sounds like something that would happen at spontaneous karaoke to me
This is one of those moments, 10 years from now that you guys will laugh off. Because…it’s a *little bit* funny.
I’m just picturing you, belting out Coldplay, poorly apparently. Lmao.
YTA this wasn’t a random karaoke party, even if you thought it was you could have simply checked with either your sister or either singer first
Also as a fellow terrible singer, why would you subject them to it, especially something like Coldplay
I feel like that should be on the DJ tho.
On the DJ as well, but it’s still on OP
NTA for being young and making a mistake. A little bit of a YTA for the insincere apology though. It can be an honest mistake and yet still be worth apologizing and meaning it.
Now you know that it wasn’t karaoke but don’t beat yourself up about it. The DJ could have done better honestly (and told you those were planned and this wasn’t for all of the guests to do). And I wish your sister hasn’t spoken unkindly. If your own apology was obviously not genuine I can imagine her reacting to that as much as anything else but no need to insult your singing. Maybe a genuine apology for your mistake without just denying it as an issue and wanting to end the conversation might be helpful.
YTA. You’re the AH for doing it in the first place and the AH for not being sincere in your apology. You’re young, we get it. You assumed, you felt embarrassed…not everything is about you. You owe your sister a sincere apology.
The person at fault here is the DJ. At my wedding, the DJ did not take any requests that were not approved by my husband or myself. OPs sister should be mad at the DJ and stop beating up on a 17 year old. I doubt one song ruined her whole ceremony!
This.
The DJ is the one responsible to filter requests from guests pertaining to music and animation. That’s what he’s paid for.
NTA
100%. I’m the manager of a whole department of wedding DJs and we don’t let anyone get ahold of a live mic unless it’s part of our timeline for the night or one of the couple gives explicit permission, just so this can’t happen. the DJ is to blame.
Gentle YTA because you’re 17 and probably still learning social norms about weddings and life lessons about making assumptions.
It’s generally a bad idea to do something attention-seeking at someone’s wedding – other people doing it doesn’t mean you can without permission from the bride and groom. If your aunt and sister had sung without permission they would have also been exhibiting asshole behavior and that wouldn’t have made your choices okay.
A sincere apology is what really makes the difference here. It may be helpful to acknowledge that you actually hurt your sister’s feelings and treat her like her feelings matter to you in this situation.
Imagine if her aunt had done it without permission and the bride was already annoyed, and then other family members kept going up to sing lol. Even worse
YTA
This is a wedding, not karaoke, stay in your guest lane