Hi. For context I (30M) am a doctor, my GF (29F) is a microbiologist. My sister in law (25F) is 13 weeks pregnant with her first child, and a couple weeks ago she had a fall and some light bleeding, she went to her OB who did an ultrasound and said she had a mild hematoma which may increase the risk of miscarriage (operative word here being *may*). Now, this was a couple of weeks ago, and she had a follow up appointment today where the USG showed the hematoma was gone and therefore she was no longer considered at risk of miscarriage. This becomes important because her husband’s grandmother died yesterday and they live a couple of towns over, so she was worried if making the trip (4 hours drive tops) would harm the baby, so she asked me and showed me the USG pictures. I assured her everything was ok and she could walk there if she wanted, but when I texted my GF to tell her about it she told me to call her sister back and tell her that on second thought she better not go cause it may harm the baby. Now, her whole family is full of hypochondriacs, her mom being the worst of the bunch, and I understand she’s worried about the baby, but I put my foot down and refused to lie about medical matters just so they can keep my SIL locked away like a hermit for the duration of the pregnancy. I told my GF this (in more diplomatic terms) and now she’s sulking and answering me in monosyllabics, and I know in her head she’s swearing bloody vengeance on me should anything happen to the baby (which it won’t, save for bad luck), and I’m left wondering if I did the right thing or if I should’ve just done what she asked for peace of mind
NTA – do you really want to put your integrity up as a doctor to appease a bunch of hypochondriacs that want to control a pregnant woman? Give your honest medical opinion.
This has to be fake, because no doctor would be asking REDDIT on whether the medical advice they gave someone (in a clinic setting or not) was valid or not. Not would they be asking about one of THE MOST BASIC concepts we’re taught in medical school regarding the ethics of literally this exact situation.
No, you do not lie to the actual patient at the request of the family members. If you actually are a physician, please, for the love of medicine, take a refresher course from wherever you work at. If it’s your own clinic, I’d advise shutting down.
NTA—all you did was confirm what her actual doctor had already said
Wow. Your GF is a hypochondriac AND!! a microbiologist ?
She must be in a panic all the time. Running around sterilizing everything
She is a bit of a a cleaning maniac not gonna lie
NTA. You’re right lying about medical facts isn’t okay, even for “peace of mind.” Your SIL deserves the truth to make her own decisions, and you handled it responsibly.
NTA. You cannot compromise your medical integrity. Your gf is immature and behaving manipulatively.
NTA, thanks for being honest and kind to your SIL. However, I would think about whether you want to put your neck on the line – she could still have a miscarriage for any reason and it’s generally better not to mix medical advice with family. You could encourage her to listen to her OB, I wouldn’t have reviewed her scans though.
I am also a physician. A surgical subspecialist.
I NEVER give medical advise to a relative I have not PERSONALLY examined professionally or had the ability to review the entire record, and that’s IF it is in my specialty ONLY. I do not ever agree with or disagree with another doctor’s treatment plan..
Any other issues are met with “You need to see YOUR doctor and ask them.” Full stop. If they do not do so, anything that happens is on them now, not me.
You’re right doctor, I should’ve known better
This is the same approach I take as a lawyer when family comes to me asking for legal advice. Never worth opening up that Pandora’s box.
I’d think being a physician in a family of hypochondriacs is a special circle of hell. Oof.
It’s pretty taxing not gonna lie
ESH. I agree that you shouldn’t lie, but I really don’t think you should be giving her medical advice at all. You’re not her doctor and you may not have all the information they have. Next time, tell her you’re not comfortable answering her questions and tell her to ask her OB.