AITA for refusing to come to Christmas until my mother and I get therapy?

I(29f) and my husband (30m) have been at odds with my parents for almost 3 years. My parents are members of the LDS church and I left about 9 years ago. A few summers ago, my husband and I went on vacation with my family and our infant daughter. On this vacation, my husband and I participated in a few drinks during the trip and my family became increasingly rude to him. Making snide remarks, sarcastic reactions to his questions, and just putting him down in passive aggressive ways. We were gearing up to leave the lake and my step father made a rude comment to my husband. He asked me to toss him a beer and my mother tried to stop me and told me no. My husband got upset for being controlled as a grown man. My mother also compared him to my abusive and alcoholic father which was completed unwarranted because he is the furthest thing from that person. We ended up getting into a huge fight and leaving early. When leaving, my husband tried to apologize and my step father scoffed at him and walked off. Since then I have only attended Christmas at their home so my daughter can see her cousins and I have not attended family functions out of support for my husband. My husband unfriended my parents and brother from Facebook and have not spoken to them.

Last year they wanted to do family pictures because all 6 siblings would be in the same place with their families. I told my mother no and that she can’t expect us to smile and say cheese for people who have expressed such hatred. My mother tried to manipulate me in front of my siblings and tried to tell me to show up with our daughter and they can photo shop my husband in later. I still refused and she broke down crying so I left. I didn’t attend and we are not in the family picture.

I have tried multiple times to talk to my parents but they are insistent they have nothing to apologize for. They believe my husband changed me when in reality he just got me to stop lying to them to avoid lectures. I told them I won’t be coming to Christmas this year since last year was so awful. I told my mom I don’t feel comfortable attending family functions until we talk through our issues with a therapist. She basically told me that I’m terrible for keeping my daughter from family that loves her on Christmas.

AITA? I’m not saying she will never see her granddaughter again but I’m not playing their games anymore until they realize how manipulative and controlling they are being. In my opinion they need to apologize because my husband tried way back then right after the situation and got scoffed off. 2 of my 5 siblings are still speaking to me and actually see my side of things.