My husband has two sisters and one sister-in-law (his brother’s wife), and all three of them are pregnant right now. Two of them already know they’re having boys.
During a recent conversation about baby names, two of them said they’re considering using my 4-year-old son’s middle name as their baby’s first name.
For context, this isn’t some unused middle name. We regularly call my son by his first and middle name. It’s part of his everyday day name and identity. It’s also my father-in-law’s middle name, which I understand is meaningful… BUT
What adds to irritation is that these siblings aren’t even particularly kind to my FIL, so the “we want to honor Dad” reasoning feels a little fake. And honestly, if they were using it as a middle name, I don’t think I’d care as much.
But using it as a first name, especially since we are around them often, makes me feel like I won’t be able to comfortably call my son by the name he’s always gone by without it being confusing for the kids and everyone else.
I know I don’t “own” the name, but I can’t shake feeling irritated. Am I the asshole?
YTA and need to get over yourself.
YTA. You don’t own the name, and it’s not uncommon for people in the same family to share names.
For your own sake, let this one go.
YTA, sorry!
It’s a family name relating to a significant family member, AND it’s not your son’s first name. It’s up for grabs.
Kids navigate duplicated names all the time (see: the vast quantity of Leos and Olivias in my son’s kindergarten class). The cousins will be fine.
YTA. Are you going to also make sure that no one at his school has the same name?
Names belong to the universe, not to individuals. What gives you the right to be the only person to name your child after your father in law?
YTA it’s a middle name. It would be weird if they would copy the complete name of your child, but using his middle name as their son’s first name should not be confusing for anybody.
YTA. They are not using your son’s middle name, they are using their father’s and FIL’s name. Just because you birthed a boy first, doesn’t mean this name can’t be used by them to honour theis dad, if they want to.
YTA.
You don’t own the name. Your son might have schoolmates later who share his first or middle name. Call your son what you want to call him and don’t mind what your SIL name their child.
YTA. Not only do you not own the name, but there is absolutely nothing wrong with cousins sharing names. It’s part of family ties. Names get passed on and passed around.
There are 3 names in my family that are shared by 2+ people. Nothing awkward about it. Unless you think a name makes a person “special” and unique.
Be glad that several cousins share a common, unifying family name with meaning instead of getting all hurt about it. Your kid won’t care – he’ll like it.
YTA. They can name their son however they want. You have taken the name as well from your FIL
I thought I was in the entitled people sub for a minute. Then I realized EP don’t usually write about themselves.
YTA
I don’t think it’s your place to decide if they are worthy of naming the baby after the baby’s grandfather. YTA. Also since it’s not actually your kids first name, I don’t think there will be any meaningful amount of confusion.
YTA. They can use any name they want and you can stay mad I guess.
YTA
This is petty. Don’t be petty.
As you said, you don’t own the name. Neither does your son.
Do you really not think that your son will be smart enough to surmise whether someone is talking to him or to his cousin? Or are you using that as an excuse to claim name-sovereignty?
It is not your place to question your SILs’ desire to honor their father.