AITA for thinking that my mom’s silent treatment has gone on for too long?

Two months back, I did something really stupid. I had my boyfriend over alone in the house. I asked my mom if it was okay since she was at work, and she said sure. While he was over, he asked to go upstairs. I was hesitant to allow it, considering my mom’s rule of "no friend upstairs." But I knew it would be less than 30-sec

Unfortunately, my mom came home early. I couldn’t avoid getting in trouble; so I sent my boyfriend downstairs, and less than a minute later, my mom came up, threatening to kick me out. I apologized profusely for what I did and promised that nothing sexual had occurred. For the next week, she didn’t speak to me.

A few nights later, she finally asked to talk to me. In the conversation, she said she didn’t like my boyfriend, hated being around him, and didn’t want him near our family or the house. She also said that she would prefer it if I moved out. For context, I’m twenty years old and I go to a college in my city and commute from home; can’t afford a place until I leave.

She never mentioned any solutions or us making up. So her silent treatment continued. We flew out of town for a trip, where she treated me mostly normally. I was hopeful that she had forgiven me. But when we came back, I brought up my boyfriend helping my sister move some of her heavier stuff in her new apt, and she said she didn’t want him ruining this experience for her. After this incident, I knew I needed to advocate for my boyfriend because she was vastly mischaracterizing him.

We had another talk a couple of days after, and this time my mom said that the problem wasn’t boyfriend but me. She accused me of being ashamed of my family, bringing up stuff from years ago, like my standoffishness when she met my first boyfriend, or me not calling often when I lived on campus my freshman year. I told her it wasn’t fair to bring up stuff from years ago when I’ve grown immensely in all facets of life–especially with communication. She agreed and apologized for that. She asked me what I wanted out of the convo, and I said I just wanted a relationship and for her not to give up on me because I’m trying and I can change whatever she wants me to. We hugged, and I thought this meant we were good.

Nope.

She doesn’t talk to me. When I try to tell her about things, she’ll say "that’s nice," or something similar. Sometimes I’ll smile at her or do something goofy, but she doesn’t react, only looks at me like I’m bothering her. When she does talk, it’s usually passive-aggressive.

When she says ‘my house,’ it just makes me feel like she doesn’t want me here. When she’s laughing on the phone with my siblings, or going shopping with my sister, I know I shouldn’t, but I feel so spiteful and jealous. My dad was never mad at me, so he’s my go-to parent now for everything: talking about school, things coming up, car issues, boyfriend/friend/work drama. But I miss talking to my mom.

Am I deserving of this? Is this treatment equal to the fucked up thing that I did?