AITA: It ended but was it my fault all along and did I lead them on?

We were on and off for two years.

About three months in they asked me to sign a Statutory Declaration saying I was willing and able to financially support them for their course so they could study here.

They were an international student. It felt really early and honestly it threw me, but I went along with it because I wanted to help them.

A month later they got a job near my place and suddenly they were staying over all the time.

I didn’t really understand why it happened that fast but they said it was just easier for work.

After about a week of that we had this chat about them moving in as flatmates because technically we were still just dating, not together properly.

Then they moved in, before moving out about four months later. We lost contact for about three months.

Then they came back but basically just for sex at first. Eventually we ended up back together as a relationship.

We travelled, went away on weekends, had fun, I worked heaps but always made Sundays available for us. Then about a month in I found a dating app on their phone after the left it unlocked in the shower and they were talking to other people.

They said it was because they needed validation since I wasn’t giving them enough attention. I forgave it even though it really pissed me off.

That same week my parents visited and they got angry at me for not texting enough or seeing them that weekend to meet my parents.

I was still annoyed about the dating apps on their phone and said I wasn’t ready for them to meet them until we were in a better position in our relationship.

Then they blocked me and accused me of keeping the relationship a secret.

I felt sad about the breakup and I ended up writing this massive love letter about how much I cared about them.

They agreed to meet up with me again, but they said the only way they’d get back together with me was if we registered the relationship with the government – which basically was the closest thing to marriage and provides legal recognition for the couple

I agreed, but a month in I had my doubts, because i just was worried it was moving too fast.

I said we should go defacto, which would have taken about two more years to become ‘official’. They instantly walked away at this suggestion saying I was afraid of commitment.

They keep saying it wasn’t visa-related, but part of me knew deep down it was and I was sad that they could not admit it to me.

But AITH for leading them on when I agreed?