So this happened recently and I’m still shaken by it. Me and my sister (29F) had a travel plan for a wedding. The morning of the trip, I woke up with my period heavy bleeding, cramps, dizziness, vomiting, the whole thing. I could barely stand.
When my sister tried to wake me up, she asked for details of my bank for something I was already crying from pain. So immediately started **screaming**, **yelling**, **cursing**, and she started saying I was “making her lose money, time, effort,” etc. She kept repeating it over and over like I had personally ruined her entire life.
I told her that we could go **tomorrow morning** once I felt better and I can’t do it today. But she kept yelling, She completely ignored the fact that I was literally vomiting, shaking, and crying from pain.
She left the room and then came back AGAIN to yell more about “her loss” and “her money” and how I was ruining everything. No empathy, no care, nothing. I actually felt scared because I was weak and she kept attacking me like I did something wrong on purpose.
It reminded me of a past relationship where my ex screamed at me about “loss of money” and “ruined plans” when delays happened that weren’t my fault. I ended up feeling like today was the same kind of emotional pressure, just from a different person.
“`
If your periods are that bad you need to go see a doctor
That is not normal at all
You could barely stand??? Sobbing from the pain
Not normal at all
you need to get this checked out
Exactly, it’s really rough when it’s that intense. She literally couldn’t even get out of bed, and instead of understanding, her sister was yelling at her. No one should be made to feel guilty for being sick
And don’t let them try to convince you that it is either
She might have already tried, it’s so hard to actually get any help with it other than being put on birth control, and that sometimes makes it worse, so it’s not as simple as ‘get it checked out’, and she most likely already knows it’s not normal
I had 3 different doctors tell me my only solution was the hormonal IUD. I’ve had shit reactions to every type of birth control I’ve ever been on (usually suicidal thoughts) I had a tubal, I’m done having kids. Finally convinced an OB to do a uterine ablation for me. I’m so much better now but they didn’t want to offer it to me because I’m “so young” from the research I did the only downside is not being able to have children. Which I already am done with. I’ve got 3, that’s plenty.
Women’s healthcare is a nightmare.
Please find medical help and don’t let them convince you that this is normal. It absolutely is not. Obviously NTA.
Gently, ESH I’m really sorry you have to deal with periods that horrible and I hope you are seeing doctors to get a diagnosis because it isn’t normal and you shouldn’t have to deal with it. BUT unless this is the first time you’ve had period pain so bad you have to stay in bed, then you should be tracking it and making contingency plans because you’d know your period was likely to arrive on or around this trip.
And your sister also sucks for not being kind. She has to go without you or make other plans for the next day but there’s no need or purpose for her to keep yelling at you.
I’m gonna get downvoted to oblivion but oh well…
Without more details, ESH.
1. Your period situation is not normal. That is not your fault. Not dealing with it by the age of 29, however, is. If this is a regular occurrence, you should be tracking and you should know your bad window, to avoid situations like this. I have PMDD. My symptoms are mental and physical, and I’m on Prozac for 10 days before my period starts. My “bad” window is marked on the calendar, and even though it moves a couple days each month, it gives me a heads up that perhaps my parents visiting that particular week isn’t a great idea.
2. Yeah, your sister could’ve been nicer about it, but something tells me that based on her reaction, this isn’t the first time she’s been left holding the pieces of a plan that you shattered. People get tired of that shit.
3. Who was the wedding for? And what was the travel plan?
I was gonna post the same thing.
Op has had at least 120 periods to figure this out.
People on reddit need to stop acting like women are children and can’t manage a period. She’s almost 30.
ETA: to the guy who deleted his comment to me: yes. I have PMDD. I cant use hormonal birth control because I can get blood clots that can kill me from another health condition.
It’s called PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY.
In a comment she’s since deleted, she said that she knew this trip was going to happen during their period. I don’t understand how she didn’t prep or plan to manage this possibility on the trip/travel day. It really just sounds like this was the straw that broke the camel’s back when it came to the sister.
Info: in another post you say you refused to travel “last minute” and here you say it was travel planned for a wedding. Which is it?
It sounds like her decision to not travel is what she is saying is last minute in the other post. The trip was planned, her not going was not.
> she started saying I was “making her lose money, time, effort,”
> ex screamed at me about “loss of money”
Seems like this is a pattern of behaviour.
Sorry, that makes it ESH
You have a history of letting people pay for you, and organise for you, then they lose money because you can’t go. If this is a pattern, and you know that you have medical issues meaning you sometimes can’t travel, you need to take more responsibility. You need to pay yourself, organise yourself, or be prepared to properly reimburse them if you can’t make it.
Offering to go another day is not reimbursement.
* (For context, I have two chronic medical conditions that restrict me greatly, but I’m realistic and responsible about it)