I have a dog who is trained. My sister (who is also my roommate) also has a "puppy" who is not really a puppy anymore and isn’t trained at all. I made it clear I wouldn’t train the puppy and she shouldn’t get it, and I haven’t made any effort to train it. So this puppy doesn’t know basic commands like sit, stay, recall, or anything really. However I have "trained" it to "leave it" (meaning leave my dog alone) when I am training/playing with my own dog, and to leave my dog alone when I give my dog puzzles/enrichment toys.
My sister thinks that if I have enough time to do this I should help her out and actually train her puppy. I don’t think i’m the asshole because it’s not my puppy and I told her before she got it that I wouldn’t do that. She thinks i’m the asshole because I have experience training dogs and have a little extra free time where I could be training the puppy.
My sister can’t afford to pay someone to train the puppy/bring it to puppy classes, and also works more than me so says she’s "too tired" to train the puppy. Am I the asshole?
edit: I don’t ignore the puppy. I just don’t train it which I made clear for months before she got this puppy.
NTA. Your sister is a bad dog parent, big time though. I am however heartbroken that this puppy must witness another pup having fun (because training and enrichment is fun) and doesn’t get any of it… While you are right, you win nothing for it and the poor pupper is the loser there.
ESH except for the dog.
No, the puppy is the problem. It needs to grow up and take some responsibility, rather than mooching off of its owner, and refusing to learn the language at all.
The fact that OP taught it one thing means its fully capable and just needs to apply itself – puppy is definitely not applying itself and needs a change of attitude and a bit more gratitude and less entitlement.
It needs to pull itself up by its pawstraps
ESH — poor puppy can’t understand why it’s being left out.
NTA lol, her dog = her problem. You gave her a heads up and she ignored it, now she’s salty cuz actions got consequences?? Nah.
ESH. Look, you’re just aggrevating the situation by ignoring this dog. I don’t care if you don’t want to teach it to sit because you don’t see a benefit to you, the whole idea of training the dogs to not play together and giving one enrichment toys (which is code for hidden treats) and not the other is both cruel and also asking for trouble (badly trained dog may eventually lash out at the dog that’s getting treated well). Even if you can’t train the dog, you should be treating it equal to your dog in rewards and play.
NTA. It’s like having kids and not raising them properly, and then expect someone else to do it for you.
NTA. It’s her dog. I’m sure if she wanted to train it, you would give her pointers free of charge.
“Hey sis, if you want your dog to be trained, then I am happy to give you some pointers, I’ll even demonstrate if needed, but you will have to do the hard work, repetition and being consistent yourself.”
NTA, your sister is a major one. It would be one thing if she asked for your help and she was the one who did the actual work/commands/etc but to expect you just to train her dog for free is insane
I love dog training.
I wish I could swoop in there and save that puppy.
How sad.
NTA, but I do feel sorry for the pup. He got a dud for an owner.
ESH – Not fair to the dog. It needs a better home.
NTA for not training it.
I do think YTA for excluding it from treats and not giving it a happy home despite your neglectful sister. You are also complicit now in the neglect. It’s like watching someone hurt/ignore/abuse their children but you don’t want to help because you told them to have an abortion or do X and they didn’t. Now you let the children suffer because you actually don’t care about another living being/creature. They are here now, in your home, and you are intentionally imparing this dog because of your feelings towards your sister and the situation.
I know you said you don’t ignore it, but forcing it away from your dog so yours can enjoy a treat and toys while the other can’t, is being cruel. Like my heart hurts for the pup. You not giving it attention or comfort is so evil. Like I don’t know how you can look at another animal, even if it’s not your responsibility, and not want to help. I dunno if you should work with animals if you have a cold heart. I certainly wouldn’t want you near my pets if you view an animals life as transactional and only worth your convenience.
Your sister is a negligent owner, she is TA for putting you and the dog in this situation. You should train it but request that she pay or owe you something in return as compensation. You didn’t ask for the responsibility, but you are responsible for yours, your dogs and any visitors safety, and an untrained dog living in a home with you becomes your responsibility in regards to safety.
But you sound petty and immature, based on your responses, and now a poor pup has to suffer.