So some context, we have this employee (mid20s M, we’ll call him Tod) at work who tends to not be aware of his surroundings and doesn’t pay attention.
So today at work I (33F) was walking towards a desk when Tod was walking around the area. I noticed if I continued on the current path we were going to walk into each other, so I moved towards to the side and continued walking. At the last moment, Tod ended up changing directions and we very gently bumped into each other.
He then says to me, "An excuse me would be helpful to know you’re there."
I responded, "I already moved out of the way to avoid bumping into each other, but it’s no big deal, it’s all good."
Then Tod said, "You need to say excuse me still."
I shrugged and decided to let it go, wasn’t worth arguing about and it wasn’t like anyone got hurt.
Later, I was walking by his desk and I heard him tell people that I "ran into him" which is definitely not what happened! It’s been a really rough week since my coworker is out sick, so I’ve taken over her responsibilities along with mine…so I started crying (not my finest moment). I decided to bring it up to a manager, not to get him in trouble (which I said to the manager), but basically to CYA so if it were to get back to the managers, they would know my side of the story.
The manager ended up talking to Tod and it’s clear Tod is mad at me. I personally feel he made a situation into a bigger deal than it needed to be, but maybe I’m in the wrong for escalating it to management. Things can spread like wildfires, so i wanted to shutdown an untrue rumor about me before it went through the entire building. So, AITA?
Sounds to me like Tod has entitled male syndrome. Women are supposed to apologize to him when he’s an asshole because he’s the most important person in the room. NTA next time, tell him to watch where he’s going.
NTA Taking offense because someone did not react the way you wanted them to is an unfortunate development in our society. Tod needs to get over himself.
I probably would have said sorry or excuse me even though the collision was his fault. But I can’t fault anyone for ignoring the situation.
You’re NTA for not excusing yourself – you were the only one paying attention, you tried to change your path, and he reoriented and you couldn’t avoid the bump.
But I don’t think an incident like this needed to go to management or HR. That’s for stuff that’s more egregious OR patterns of misbehavior. As for the rumor spreading through the entire building – I can guarantee you there was way more interesting gossip in the office than “so-and-so bumped into blah-blah and didn’t say excuse me.”
Sorry you’re having a tough week. It’ll get better, OP.
NTA. Wise of you to bring it to HR’s attention; Tod sounds like a troublemaker (and a dіckhead).
NTA, he way overreacted in my opinion but you were definitely right to CYA. Try not to worry about gossip, he’s going to look petty for gossiping about an accident in the hallway so if he starts gossiping, it will hurt his reputation more than it hurts your reputation.
NTA, Tod should be fired, if not tarred and feathered and rode out of town on a rail like the real seymour skinner.
I’d have said don’t talk to me like that, You bumped into me. I moved and you purposely hit me. You need to watch where you’re going.
Some people think that it’s everyone else’s responsibility to make sure that they have all the room that they need. And then you have the ones who seem a little salty about the fact that they have to share the planet with the other 8B people who live on Earth.
He bumped into you. Why are you framing it like you did something to him? NTA