Hi, random account. Ik the title is weird but you must hear the context.
I’m in a trio, we’ve been friends for years and we have been through multiple friend groups together.
Me and one of the girls who we will call "C" befriend a girl who we will call "F."
Now F has had a really rough time with making friends, she’s been used and treated awfully. She’s a super kind person, can be very timid but just lovely. Now me and C became friends with F and the 3rd girl in our trio who I’ll call D didn’t say much.
Evreything was fine until randomly D had a idk what to call it, a tantrum?
She ignored us for a week straight, wouldn’t say a word and practically would run from us. And when we asked what was wrong she’d give cryptic and scoffy awnsers just to ignore us again.
C was upset and I was reaching the point we’re I was just exhausted. This is the 2nd time this has happened maybe even more! Finally after a few days D snapped and said it was because she didn’t like F.
Now F felt awful and literally told me that she’d understand if we didn’t want to continue hanging out with her anymore! Obviously I said I’d never leave because she did nothing wrong.
Now things escalated, when we finally got D to talk to us we kept asking her why didn’t she say anything. She said she had no chance to speak with us. The girl ran from US ignored US didn’t awnser OUR texts.
She blamed it on us.
She said she isn’t comfortable with new people, but I found it so strange she’s perfectly fine w ppl until WE bring a new friend over.
She even got other people involved but clearly wouldn’t tell the part where she decided to ghost us then say we didn’t reach out when WE were the ones trying to fix the problem.
Was I wrong for making a new friend?
nta open hearts beat closed minds. be well
You can’t solve anything without knowing what’s going on. Sounds like you tried to but D was avoiding taking accountability for her behaviour by running away from you. You finally got it out of her; she doesn’t like the new friend. She’s now blaming you. Sounds like she is jealous of your relationship with F. Clearly the dynamics of the relationship have changed since F joined the group. It happens. NTA.
NTA.
I don’t think it’s okay that you’d need D’s permission to befriend someone.
Also her reactions and way of dealing with it speak of someone who demands to be chased after, I don’t know if I would have the energy for this, in a long term.
NTA
As a general rule – you are never wrong for making a new friend…and anyone who thinks you are is showing you a massive red flag.
You don’t give your ages but D’s behaviour is not that of a balanced and mature person.
Consider their ghosting a blessing and move on with more stable people who don’t think they get a veto in who you get to call friend.
Damn what a diva.