So here is what happened:
I (16M) am currently living-studying in another country that’s close to mine to finish highschool and return to my homecountry for the rest of my life.
In this country,we rented a apartment for me to stay in.The person who arranged this (also the residency visas and the school too) was a brother from our homecountry.
And he has a sister which is actually how we met him (my mom met the sister at a lawyers rights protest in our homecountry and then she introduced us to her brother).
Now this morning,i woke up to my phone ringing.It was the sister.She told me that the younger brother of her brothers wife and his friends (i met the wifes brother already) were in our city downtown (the city i am at is very touristic) and that they came early and a place to stay until their check in hour arrived (the phone call was at 11.45,apparently their check in was at 17.00) would be very useful.
I told her no,because both the house was dirty as hell (when i cook on friday nights i am usually tired and do my cleaning on the weekends) and my lover (dont know if thats the right wording,english is not my main) was over with me.
I did not think much of it as she told me "it’s fine,they will hang around the city center" and ended the call.
Until,just a few hours before i wrote this post,i got a phone call from my mom.
Appareantly,there was a chaos because i started going to casinos (this country is a casino hub) secretly and smoking?!
She told me that the sister told her about my secret habits and that she was very disappointed with me.
Then after that,i called the sister and asked her why she lied about me (i am strictly against drinking,smoking,gambling) and she said that "you should not disrespect guests and reject and leave them in hard situations" and that i needed to learn a lesson.
So please tell me dear reddit,Am i the asshole?
I mean not really. The house was dirty and you also had someone over and it would’ve been very overwhelming and overcrowded. She told you it was fine then lied about you to your mom because she didn’t get her way. I would confront her about this in person and record what she says so you can clear your name with your mom and then lay down boundaries
Unfortunately,we do not have the individualistic feature in our culture.
So those kinds of things will only push me down the rabbit hole further.
Probably NTA. But I feel like the answer may be different in different cultural contexts (mine is U.S.). The polite response would be, if you are available to accommodate them, give me an hour to clean, then come over. But you did already have a guest. I suppose you could have asked your guest if it was all right, but being that it’s probably a woman, and in the morning, that may not be the best look for someone your age?
They would first get angry at my face for being that dirty
And then i would (unless a real tragic sad accident happens to me) permanently be made a pariah for having a secret lover 😬🥲
NTA. They were not your “guests.” Maybe if you would have had some notice, you would have made a different choice. This woman is a lawyer? If so, I would report her to the ethics board for her behavior.
What is ethics board?