This all started a year ago when the group chat was created. At first, I thought it was just a normal way to stay connected with classmates, share memes, and joke around. But over time, it became clear that the group was toxic. The jokes went too far. They were racist, homophobic, sexist, and just straight-up disgusting. I am Black, and I was constantly called the N-word. They made twisted jokes about a certain Austrian man, something so disgusting that I can’t even say on reddit (I think you can guess what is is) and all kinds of messed-up things. I tried to ignore it at first, thinking maybe it was just “edgy humor,” but it never stopped. It got worse.
Naeem and Daniel were the worst. Naeem constantly said the most offensive and AWFUL things. When I tried to speak up and say it bothered me, he called me soft. Daniel would defend him every single time like he had to protect his boyfriend, as if no one was allowed to disagree with him. Ethan acted like it was all “just jokes,” laughing at and joining in with everything, pretending it wasn’t serious even though he knew it crossed the line. Riley pretended he didn’t actually participate, acting clueless when called out, but he was always part of the problem by laughing or ignoring what was happening. Every attempt I made to explain how I felt was ignored or laughed at, and nothing ever changed.
Two weeks ago, the situation escalated during a group assignment at school. (With different students) I ended up doing around 40% of the work, while others contributed very little. When the assignment didn’t go perfectly, they blamed me as if I was the reason we might get a bad grade. They refused to take accountability for their own lack of effort and treated me like I was the problem for doing most of the work. It was exhausting and unfair, and it reminded me of how toxic everything had always been, This was the final straw.
Then the group chat got leaked to the principal (By an unknown someone) . Suddenly, some people were angry at me for “snitching,” but the truth is I had to protect myself. I want a scholarship and I cannot risk my reputation just to let people continue treating me like garbage. I wasn’t trying to ruin anyone, but I also cannot stay silent when I am being attacked constantly.
After everything, I realized I deserve better. I deserve to be around people who respect me, take accountability, and treat others decently. Staying in this group chat or that assignment group was only hurting me. So I left the chat permanently, walked away from the toxic assignment group, and chose my peace and my future over people who clearly do not care about decency, respect, or fairness. I am done. I need new friends man 😭
Am I the asshole?
Clearly NTA, Goodluck with getting new friends
You are NOT the AH! They are and never stay in an uncomfortable situation.
No of course you’re not the asshole in this situation. It’s the other way around
100% NTA, and I’m shocked you stayed as long as you did.
Good on you! And never accept bigotry disguised as jokes and gaslit by being called too sensitive.
INFO: why do you think you are the asshole?
My “friends” and their friends keep telling me that I should’ve stayed quiet. that it’s the bro code, And that telling the principal can get them suspended and ruin their future. Even though I had no control over what they chose to say. Apparently I threw them under the bus.
Obviously, not if your portrayal is accurate. I’m not sure why you need to post this here, really. If you mean “snitching,” well, their behaviour could be either ignored or outed. Whistle-blowing may have consequences in terms of people giving you the cold shoulder, but it is acting with a moral authority in regard what is considered appropriate by the current cultural norms.
As for them, I’m not sure why they’d blame you for the assignment grade when they made little effort to help. They’re just entitled and IMHO you’re better off without them.
What’s worse is that I didn’t leak the group chat. And I’m just getting blamed for telling the principal what they did..