So, tomorrow is comic-con and me with some other friends have decided to go. 2 of my friends are going in a cosplay together and will not have any big bags to carry stuff with. I am lending one of them my fannypack so she can take something with, she had asked in this conversation if she could possibly store a bottle in my bag which I said was fine.
However during the exchange of bags she asked me again if she could store some stuff in my bag. I told her I could carry some of her stuff like a bottle and maybe some food since that’s what we agreed on, but I am not her pack mule so I don’t wanna carry all her stuff she is gonna buy at comic-con too. (She often buys quite a lot too) She proceeds to be offended and even irritated that I am not letting her do that and gives me a cold shoulder. And said she would figure something out again.
In my opinion I didn’t chose to do a big cosplay so I could carry my stuff but that does not mean that due to me having a big bag she can put stuff in mine cause she can’t carry it due to the cosplay she chose right? However some say I could do it as a favor since we’re friends too and I agreed to the bottle so I could expect she meant more and that the bottle was an example.
NTA. just because you have a bag with you does not mean you agreed to carry everything for everyone. totally ok that she asked, totally ok that you said no
It’s already going to be painful to make sure you’re together so she doesn’t overheat. She’s going to need a lot of water if it’s a difficult costume. NTA
No, that’s cosplay & comic con etiquette. You carry the crap you buy/bring.
Exactly – no-one is gonna judge you negatively if you’re carrying your loot while you’re cosplaying it’s what everyone does. OP is NTA.
Plus if your bag is full of your friend’s things where are you gonna put your own purchases?
NTA. You’re right. You are not a pack mule. Carrying drinks and snacks is already doing them a favor. They shouldn’t pressure you to carry whatever else they may buy while there. The friend sounds pretty selfish.
Thank you I was starting to doubt myself since people said it is a small favor to do and I could just help out but it felt like she grabbed the whole hand if you know what I mean when I only offered a finger
Nta, just because you have a bag doesnt mean you have to carry everything. I think your friend asking you to carry a few things isnt that bad, but they shouldnt be asking you to carry everything they decides to get, if she wants to get a lot of things they can carry it on their own.
NOPE. Just NOPE. NTA
“You said yes to the bottle, so you should expect more.”
Huh. Ask that friend for a buck. They give you a buck. Then tell them to give you a twenty. After all, they said yes to one thing; they should expect more and be willing to give it!
She can want/hope/expect/demand more all she wants. You don’t have to say yes. In fact. your ‘no’ should make clear to her that she shouldn’t expect more.
You are not her “designated donkey” who limited your cosplay so you could carry everyone else’s stuff.
Definitely NTA. If your friend is an able bodied person then she carry her own bag.
NTA. I’ve been going to cons since 2010 and the worst part ( other than the BO) is carrying a ton of stuff. If she knows she’s doing a big cosplay, she should have a lil cart she can drag along to carry her stuff, not depend on someone else to carry her weight.
NTA. If she wants a pack mule, she can hire one.
NTA. She’s an adult, let her figure it out. Her getting upset that you don’t want to haul her stuff all day is immature.
NTA, you are already helping by agreeing to carry a water bottle and food. You are setting a very reasonable limit and should stick to it…. she should appreciate the help you’ve offered , not get irritated at you for not accepting more items.
NTA.
You have no obligation to carry her stuff for her at any time. Helping her out by carrying her bottle and snacks doesn’t mean you should be schlepping all of her stuff around for her. She’s an entitled ass if she thinks you should be wanting to carry all her crap. You may want to reconsider this friendship if she regularly expects to be able to make major impositions on you just because she wants to.