Me and my ex broke up over 2 years now, this was while she was working abroad and it was amicable. But since she got back she has been sort of sofa surfing but all her things are still at mine. I have asked several times just to sort them out put into box’s or find a place to store them which feels like she’s ignored.
My conflict is that I know she has no stable place to live yet but the stuff in the flat is taking up space and causing me stress. I dont want to but at the same time I know it’s haveing an impact on me.
That seems like the seasonal thing to do. You don’t owe her permanent free storage. She can figure something out of accept the loss. Not sure there’s a conflict, so NAH guess if you haven’t said it’s been a problem and she hasn’t gotten upset.
You’re NTA. 2+ years is too long to have your home treated as your ex’s storage unit.
>I know she has no stable place to live yet but the stuff in the flat is taking up space and causing me stress.
Speaking of storage units, that is what they’re for. If she isn’t going to take the initiative to get one, maybe you should put her stuff in one and stop paying the rent. She can either take over the payments or forfeit them
You shouldn’t have to do that, but it might be necessary.
NTA but why do you still have her things after 2 YEARS? should have given her a deadline of 6 months at most and then put it all out for collection thereafter. You’re not a storage bin.
Storage units are available for very reasonable rates. If you want to be generous, get her a small unit, put all her crap there, pay for a few months … let her know all this up front and give her a copy of the key.
NTA for wanting her stuff gone after storing it for free for her for so long. She’ll let you keep all that junk as long as you’re willing to.
how long has she been back? I think you should tell her that you’ll give her 2-3 months to figure something out and if she still doesnt then you’re gonna do xyz.
NAH yet
She been back about 1 1/2 – 2 years
That’s absurd! Give her a 30 day deadline and then donate the stuff or whatever. Just because she can’t get her life together doesn’t make it your problem
WHATTT i was thinking she got back a few weeks ago or something… NTA give her a firm deadline maybe this will be the push she needs to get her life together.
What! Yes, give her a deadline and if she doesn’t get her stuff by it, donate or trash her stuff. Put it all in writing (text) so you have evidence of your request, her response, and any subsequent follow-ups/reminders. You’ve been more than generous and she’s taking advantage of your kindness. Storage units do exist, she can get one.
I think your request is entirely reasonable, particularly as it’s been such a long time. She can arrange for a storage locker
she returned 6 months after you broke up, and has been couch surfing for 18 months ,…. she needs to grow up a bit and get her stuff from your place.
NTA: YOU need to save your peace not her stuff!!!! GL
After 2 years, they are your things. You have asked. Everyone says put them in a storage unit for her. No. Tell her you have family coming and need her stuff out by tuseday or you are donating it to a charity shop (call around amd see who will pick it up).