Throwaway since they both use reddit. A 2 of my friends, 2 people I consider my closest friends, have been getting into the game series monster hunter through the most recent release- monster hunter Wilds. I figured I could show them some of the older games while we wait for Wilds to get more updates and talk to them about it to which both say they’ll give it a shot. They both say they’ve gotten the game and wanna stream it with me on thier twitch channel too which I’m very excited about.
I ask when and they say they’re not sure. Few days later I ask again, just like a "Hey are you guys feeling up to it?" And they say maybe later. So I check back in a few days later and get no response.
Few days later and still no response. Eventually one of them replies and said she finally made her character and we’re good to try Sunday. Sunday comes and I try messaging them both asking when and no response. The next day I ask but they’re streaming with a friend of theirs so no response. Next day they’re streaming again with another so again no response. Now I’m just messaging them asking if they’re okay but they continue not to answer so now I worry I did something wrong.
They still stream and I ask what’s going on in chat and they either ignore it completely, dodge the question or give a vague "maybe some other time".
I’m trying to get a bold of them for a week now but still no luck until I finally get a message in the group chat from one telling me I’m stressing them both out and to stop. One of them tells me they tried giving me hints they weren’t interested ans that they didn’t want to and that I was triggering thier PTSD. Mind you, literally all I’ve heard from them is vague time frames for when we could stream and radio silence. No indication either was stressed or uncomfortable. They tell me they didn’t wanna hurt my feelings but it’s getting to be too much and that I’ve caused them too much stress that they didn’t need. This is a very condensed version of events but tldr friends gave small hints they didn’t wanna stream with me and they went over my head.
AITA?
Get hint after the first time bud. Don’t really sound like good friends. NTA
NTA but the signs were there tbh
NTA
You
Should always drop
Something if you’ve asked twice with no response or a no.
They could have been more clear they did not want to, they certainly were
Leasing you to believe at some future date they wanted to.
So back to the two time rule.
Always for anything other than someone in your life you’re worried if they are okay
People will
Get back to you if they want to hang out, game, talk if you’ve messaged twice.
NTA. They actively said they would stream it. The best hint that they’re not interested is saying “We’re not interested.”
You might’ve been triggering the one’s PTSD. The thing about being triggered is that it doesn’t make you right. Many people with PTSD are triggered by completely neutral everyday things. You’re not automatically an asshole for (accidentally) triggering someone. And many people will be triggered in interpersonal conflicts no matter what you say–you still need to have the conflict.