AITA for wanting to cut contact with MIL?
When I got pregnant with my first, I knew it was gonna be a nightmare. MIL bought stuff with MY BOYFRIENDS money for HER ROOM. A bassinet, changing table, tons of clothes etc.
When my premie baby girl was barely 3 months old, MIL fed her baby food and baby cereal without me there.
Baby comes back home to me throwing up what looks like baby food. I text and ask and she says no she didn’t give her any.
Next time bf takes baby to her house again, baby comes home throwing up what looks like baby food AGAIN. AND SHE SENT JARS OF BABY FOOD HOME WITH MY BF!!! I told her my baby wasn’t to be around her or any of his family without me around.
We go over for a visit. MIL lays my baby on her lap naked, and starts LITERALLY INSPECTING her private area with a flash light and her two sons on both sides watching?????? I flipped out. My bf defended her and said she was making sure there were no signs of a*use. FIRST OFF ITS NOT HER PLACE WHAT THE ABSOLUTE FRICK
Her and his sister would take her from me without asking, they wouldn’t hand her back if she started crying etc. one day his sister even texted me and said "MIL is coming to pick up milania for awhile" WHEN SHE WAS A LITERAL BABY AND THEY GOT ANNOYED BC I SAID NO so I set boundaries.
So much more happened and eventually they moved to a different state.
They come back and I’m pregnant with baby 2. My now 5 year old DOES NOT LIKE HER bc she’s basically a stranger. MIL blames me and says it’s all my fault, she doesn’t deserve this, etc etc. whatever.
Fast forward I have baby #2. I say ok. No kissing baby on the face and no taking her out of my arms.
She does both multiple times anyway.
It’s been a nightmare.
She’s mad because I won’t let her take my baby to her room without me "for 30 mins or so"??? Why? Why do you need to do that anyway? She said she should be able to do that without a problem and me be fine with it.
she doesn’t get time with her, I barely let her hold her, she’s MAYBE held her a total of 30 mins since she was born etc etc.
Breastfeeding was a huge deal to me this pregnancy. She’s tried to get me to stop breastfeeding the entire time I have been. I’m on almost 5 months now. She told me I needed to switch to formula or pumping and use bottles. She would tell me my baby was crying bc "she’s starving". And I need to use bottles bc "nobody wants a crying baby"
Recently when she was mad at me she said "those are MY babies too"
She said she’s not used to how I’m doing things and she’s uncomfortable, she should have full access etc and that I MAKE HER UNCOMFORTABLE bc of the way I am with things and not letting her "do what family does"
She’s completely disrespected me and my parenting IN FRONT OF MY 5 YEAR OLD and tells me I’m doing it wrong, she knows more than me, I ruined my 5 year old bc she’s attached to me and doesn’t like her and it’s "not normal"
There’s SO MUCH I’m not even adding. It’d be way way too long.
Why is she around your kids at all? Why is she in your house? Her inspecting your naked baby should have been the END of it, completely.
Where the hell is your boyfriend and why isn’t HE doing something about his mother and family?
Why wasn’t cps called
What is your boyfriend doing about all this?
NTA but MIL is.
That sounds like a potential CPS call. You’re supposed to call for suspected abuse it doesn’t have to be confirmed
Why is she allowed near any of you? Nta but cut them off completely
Girl!!! If you don’t keep those babies away from that looney lady, you BETTA! She is weird & not to be trusted at all. Your oldest was basically SA’d with YOU PRESENT. Tell your hubby that he ABSOLUTELY cannot let his mom care for those children. Hell, let his sister & brothers trust her with THEIR children..she is not your mother, she is theirs!
NTA, but you will be if you continue to allow contact with your children!
You choose to reproduce again with the same man? The only reason why you were safe from them for 4 years was cause they moved.. your bf isn’t going to protect you or your children..
Plus, why in the world would OP think anything would be different this time? Since your BF won’t do it, start protecting your kids from this lunatic!
YTA. You’re their mother, It’s on **you** to protect your kids. You knew by the time your first child was 3 months old that your “MIL” was an irresponsible, lying nut. So now you have two kids and you’re still letting the same thing go down! And your bf doesn’t sound much better.
Your MIL inspecting your baby’s private area is a huge red flag! She should never be alone with either one of your children!
Ditch the bf and ditch the family
The inspection thing is nearly enough on it own to get full custody.
I mean this is the nuclear option.
Have a conversation with your bf about how creepy, inappropriate, rude, pushy and again creepy his mother is being and that if he doesn’t get her to knock it off or stop her from touching your children you will leave him
She’s the abuser, protect your children!
“MY baby too”
Nope. nope, nope. Foot down, cut all contact, that shit is disgusting. Frankly I’d have punched her at that.
What’s your partner doing about all this? Being a useless little mummy, I bet.
Did I really read that right, your bf defending his mother about it being ok that she inspect your baby’s private area?
this shit made me physically sick that you kept letting this happen to your baby. YTAH for not protecting your baby better, for letting the mil ever touch your baby after her lying about feeding her like wtf. All these red flags and you just straight ignored them, You need to do better and keep your new baby and your oldest tf away from this psycho ass family, thank god your not married, run!!!