For context, I’m a Make-A-Wish recipient and I chose to go on a trip to Japan. Only two adults and any siblings under 18 will be covered by the program (flights, hotels, etc.), so I chose to bring my mom, aunt, and younger sister (9).
My aunt wants to invite her daughter, who is five years old. Of course, she wouldn’t be covered by the program, which isn’t the problem, as my aunt plans to pay for her. The issue is I just don’t want her daughter to go with us.
She’s still in her “bratty” phase where she cries whenever she doesn’t get what she wants. She also doesn’t get along with my sister: they argue like 90% of the time. And I don’t want to be the one babysitting the both of them if my mom and aunt decide to go somewhere late at night since I’m always the designated caretaker.
I also feel like Japan isn’t suited for kids that young. There’ll be a lot of walking and I can’t imagine lugging a stroller everywhere we go. It’s not like we’ll be going to Disneyland where it’s for kids specifically, so I feel like we’d be limited to certain activities or one of us would be stuck with her.
I would feel like an asshole to tell my aunt that I don’t feel comfortable with her going on this trip but I want my special trip to be as headache-free as possible.
I also have no idea how to approach her about it.
Edit: For clarification, I’m 20 and my grandma is my cousin’s usual caretaker.
Have you considered your aunt may not be able to go on the trip without the 5 yr old? 5 is a bit young for a mother to be away for an extended time. If you don’t want the kid the aunt may not go either
That’s definitely a possibility. It might be best to pick a different adult to go in place of the aunt.
My grandma would be free to watch her; she’s usually her caretaker since they all live together
So then just tell your aunt that she can’t bring her daughter and if she insists then she can’t go either. Let make a wish people know that she isn’t allowed.
As most people have told you, this is the part where you reach out to your make a wish contact and make absolutely clear the 5yo is not invited. Be crystal clear with BOTH your mom and aunt you will, under no circumstances, be babysitting on YOUR trip. The 5yo stays home and if aunty doesn’t like it, SHE STAYS HOME, TOO. Same with mom. You’re 20. You’re an adult. If you want to go on your trip and enjoy it, do it. And inform the make a wish people of the changes to your guest list. YOU HAVE THE POWER HERE. USE IT.
NTA. but you will have to choose between aunt going with daughter or aunt not going.
NTA at all. The best way you can approach this is to hopefully get your mom on your side. Just explain to her that five is too young and you would love this to be a trip that revolves around you and making memories with your mom, Aunt and sister, and at five the trip would end up revolving around your cousin. If your mom won’t do this maybe sit your Aunt down and tell her you want to make special memories with her.
I mean let’s be honest, I assume if this is a Make a Wish trip you have reason to want this to be about you. This is not my first advice and is probably not the best advice, but maybe use a little guilt as a last resort.
Or if you have contact with someone from Make a Wish maybe you can ask them to step in and tell your Aunt your cousin can’t go. Idk if that is possible or something you should, but is maybe a try.
Hopefully, your mom listens to you and will step in.
NTA. This is a make a wish trip. My love this is YOUR trip. It would be more peaceful to go with your sister and mom and not your aunt rather than bring along a 5 yr old. At that age a kid can barely handle Disney!
NTA. Your trip. Just say no.
It’s your Make-A-Wish trip. It’s supposed to be all about you and making a good experience for YOU. You have every right to put your foot down. NTA.
And, if you explain it and the adults in your life don’t understand that, reach out to your Make-A-Wish foundation contact and explain the situation. They should be able to help you navigate it.
The idea that you’d be stuck babysitting your siblings while your mom and aunt take advantage of YOUR TRIP that you are only gifted because you are EXTREMELY ILL is downright offensive. To be honest, I’m outraged on your behalf.
Yes, I’m SURE your mom needs “me time” given the circumstances, but YOUR TRIP is not the time for that.
I wish you the best of luck.
NTA and you need to talk to your mom. Let her know that you love your niece but aren’t comfortable with her going on the trip. You don’t want to have to tailor all the activities to her Ask your mom to handle this.
NTA. If you’re a make a wish recipient, you’re obviously going through a lot of stuggles. The trip is for you, YOU. It’s for a chance for people to bring their bratty kid for a cheaper holiday. This is supposed to be a chance for your wish to come true. I would think of choosing another adult. Talk to your mum. Explain why you don’t want your cousin there. No doubt your mum knows she’s stroppy. Reinforce that this trip is for YOU. Because your aunt is invited and can come for free, it doesn’t she can add people. I hope your mum will support how.toi feel and help you tell your aunt. Hence me saying about choosing another adult. She might say if the kid can’t come, she won’t come. This is a manipulation tactic to force you to allow her daughter to come. If she does this, she is not allowed to pressure you like that. Or deserve to share this special experience with you.
I hope this doesn’t happen.
I really hope it all works out and you have an AMAZING time in Denmark!!!
NTA this trip is 100% for you. It kinda scares me that your mom and aunt would leave you to sit two small kids on YOUR trip. Now add the fact that this is in a foreign country and everyone will be out of their comfort zone (not like babysitting at home where you have local resources and comfort), kids that young may not behave (or heaven knows gets sick) and who’s going to suffer? You. Not fair, just decline her invitation for her daughter. If I’m not mistaken if something happens to ruin the trip they won’t pay for another one, right?
Say no. Tell your mom you don’t want her to go. Tell the Make-a-Wish people you don’t want her to go if your mom isn’t helpful.