We’re all in our late 30s and frankly this topic is a bit ridiculous but my mate is quite upset by the whole situation so figures I’d get some outside perspective.
Dave, the friend in question, has a beautiful rottie named Diablo. When he first got the dog, Dave asked that we use his government name. I don’t remember why, something to do with his training.
Dave has a niece, Emma, who is six. Dave is wrapped around that girls little finger and I don’t blame him. She’s frankly adorable.
I don’t think Emma has ever once called Dave’s dog by his government name. She calls that dog Looloo in the cutest sing-songy voice. Looloo is as bad as his owner when it comes to Emma. That dog adores her.
I picked up the habit of calling Diablo Looloo myself it seems. And Dave doesn’t find it quite as cute as when Emma does it. He said he doesn’t want Diablo thinking Looloo is his name… I said I don’t know how to break this to him but the dog 100% thinks he’s named Looloo already.
The thing is, Dave is still living in the delusion that he has a terrifying guard dog named Diablo and *not* Emma’s tea party attending nanny dog named Looloo.
We had a grill party over the weekend. Dave brought Looloo. Emma was also there and Looloo was by her side the entire time. As she walked by in her best princess gown with Looloo in tow I greeted Princess Emma and her "mighty beast" Looloo in ear shot of Dave. Dave just sighed and shook his head, which Emma found pretty funny. So for the rest of the party I’d make exaggerated comments toward Looloo, Dave would grumble, and Emma would laugh.
I thought it was all in good fun. Only to find out that Dave wasn’t as in on the joke as I’d hoped. He’s genuinely pissed and giving me the cold shoulder. He says I was disrespectful to call Diablo the wrong name when he’d asked me before not to. I reiterated that ship sailed when "Diablo" met Emma. He says it’s different. Unless he makes Emma stop calling Diablo Looloo i don’t think there’s anyway to undo that dog thinking his name is Looloo so it feels like a waste of energy to care so much what others call him.
So, AITA for calling Diablo the ‘wrong’ name?
well if the “mighty beast” part is sarcastic, then YWBTA, but if it was meant to be a compliment or something, then you’re NTA.
YTA. He asked you to stop, it doesnt matter if you think its stupid, in vain, or he entertains a little girl by being ok with it. It’s not you dog. If you can’t respect that, it’s no wonder he doesnt want you around.
YTA
I agree with your argument that the whole thing is silly. But:
>He says I was disrespectful to call Diablo the wrong name when he’d asked me before not to.
This is the crux of the issue.
Soft YTA. It really comes down to the fact that your friend set the expectation that you call his dog by his government name. I do agree that it’s silly to try to mandate that everyone calls him Diablo while he clearly responds to Looloo already. That being said, that’s not your fight. I think talking with your friend and apologizing will go a long way. I would explain that you werent trying to disrespect him and that you thought he was in on the joke. Moving forward, I would call the dog Diablo until he specifically says he’s cool with Looloo.
Just feels like this is a bad hill to die on over a friendship imo ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
He pissed off his friend over the name and still insisted on writing a whole story with the dog’s name as “Looloo”.
Imo this isnt a soft A, its a hard A. Op does not respect people’s boundaries
Why is this the hill you want to die on? YTA, just call the damn dog by his name. It’s clear your friend is upset by it, and it will literally do nothing to harm you to call the dog Diablo.
Very slight YTA, I can see why you prefer the name Looloo (I would too in the circumstance) and I agree it is a little bit of an overreaction by Dave… but he has asked you to stop, so it is disrespectful to Dave.
Idk, man, how important is it to you to keep teasing your friend? YTA, just call the dog by the name your friend requested.
YTA – You already know he doesnt like you calling his dog Looloo, yet you literally insist on calling him that not only at the party, but as you write this post.
You dont care about your friend’s boundaries and I honestly feel that is what is pissing him off the most. Way more than the actual name.
NTA Dave is fragile and subconsouly has made Looloo an extension of what he considers his masculinity. When that script is flipped to something he perceives as less masculine, then he feels the attack is personal. He’s compensating for his weakness, which is probably more psychological than physical because these types often spend excessive amounts of time in a gym.
Tell Dave, you were talking to Emma like how a normal adult interacts with a child. Ask him what would he have had you do instead? Freak out at Emma and insist the dog’s name is Diablo, potentially upsetting a little child?? Tell him you were just trying to be nice to Princess Emma, not disrespecting his manhood.