I (25F) am not sure if it’s my fault for being excluded from my family on Thanksgiving. My mom just moved in with her boyfriend, who is well aware that I don’t like him, and my immediate family is hosting Thanksgiving at their place. It’s well known to the bf that I don’t like him because of history of him hurting my mom emotionally. We also share different political perspectives (he’s more conservative and I’m more liberal). I know his political views bc he’s shared them with everyone with me around, so it’s not something he doesn’t speak on.
My mom and I got into a huge argument after she asked me to come but asked me not to talk politics. I study politics in university and have worked in political jobs, so it is something I’m passionate about. I’m capable of having non-political conversations, but I feel like asking me not to talk politics, when her bf has been outspoken with his political views, feels like it’s his way to silence me, and my mom is just going along with it since she doesn’t like confrontation. I actually only planned on talking about politics if it was brought up, but don’t like the fact that I was asked not to talk about it at all, as it feels like I’m being asked to be someone I’m not.
I also think its important to have discussions with people with opposing viewpoints so people don’t end up living in echo chambers, but I feel like thats what her and her bf want. After expressing this to my mom and how I felt like she was prioritizing her bf over having her daughter present, she blocked me. So, I’m starting to think that I should’ve agreed to stay silent about politics. Another part of me feels like its not fair to ask me to stay quiet when I feel like other people are spreading misinformation. I also know plenty of families that come together for holidays with opposing political views, and don’t uninvite family members because they disagree on this things.
Idk reddit, AITA?
NTA, but a better response would have been “I won’t bring the subject up, but if someone else does I won’t remain silent.”.
NTA. Mom should have said that bf needs to be quiet too if she’s asking you to be silent.
Don’t start a fire if you can’t handle the heat.
ESH. The rule should apply to everyone, singling you out was wrong. And on your side, you don’t need to turn every difference of opinion into a family-splitting argument.
Have your own Thanksgiving. Enjoy it. Screw your mom. She has chosen her boyfriend over her grown child which is certainly her choice. You are 25 not 12, so she has the right to live her life. You need to figure out how you want to respond when he inevitably hurts her emotionally the next time and she reaches out to you. I would go ahead and make Christmas plans without your family. Maybe you and some of your friends take a fun trip somewhere. Enjoy your 20s.
NTA, but your mom is a huge AH for choosing some loser over her child.