I (27f) have a close friend (27f). Not long ago, she’s casually brought up things I did in the past, like something from 7th grade, and an angry message I sent her when I was 20 (which I already apologized for years ago and felt awkward about so I apologized again in the moment even though there is so much more to the story)
Recently, I saw a video that reminded me of something that happened on a trip we took long ago when we were 21. At one point on that trip, she got upset at me and ended up throwing a bucket of water on me after I fell asleep outside our Airbnb because she had the only key and I was locked out for the night. It was a chaotic moment, but I mentioned it lightly, almost jokingly.
She immediately replied, “That’s a peculiar thing to say,” and then stopped responding. I later heard from someone else that she told them she’s mad at me and that’s why she isn’t texting me normally.
Here’s the text so you know exactly how I said it:
https://imgur.com/a/v0czRZ5
I’m confused
AITA?
Why do you want to spend time with someone who does not like you Responsible_Fox_6541?
You’re the asshole to yourself.
NTA. Dude, she’s been casually bringing up your ancient past but the second you mention one thing, even jokingly, she gets to play the victim? That’s a major double standard. She threw a bucket of water on you while you were sleeping? That’s way more unhinged than anything you’ve apparently done. She sounds exhausting and manipulative. You apologized for old stuff, she’s the one holding onto grudges. You’re not the asshole, but you might want to reconsider how “close” this friend really is.
Adulting pro tip: she is not a friend, close or otherwise. Real friends with good hearts don’t bring stuff up that should be left in the past.
Take her up on her kind offer to end your friendship permanently.
She seriously locked you out of the Airbnb and then threw a bucket of water over you? What kind of person even does that?!
NTA.
THAT girl! And I’m sure she’s been telling mutual friends highly sanitized versions of whatever happens between them.
Your comment wasn’t a peculiar thing to say. This “friend” doesn’t sound like a nice person, either. Why do you bother with her? Sometimes you just have to cut so-called friends loose. NTA
NTA, you gave her the same energy and she couldn’t handle it. Shes not your friend if she feels the need to bring up your embarrassing moments as a “joke”, but when you do it she overreact.
This isn’t a friend. This is someone who is terribly self-centered
Funny how that works out. She brings up the past and it’s fine. You bring up the past, she’s what? Hurt? Bullied? Remembers it differently?
It doesn’t matter, she’s out of your life. She may expect you to go crawling back, apologies a-blazing.
PS–ignore the flying monkeys, they live to stir stuff up.
NTA