Saturday night, A friend turned 40 and planned dinner and drinks with our friend group. His plans were created a few weeks ago. He is not a sports fan. I (42M) was non-committal as my alma mater had a football game I wanted to watch. I go to every home game and I watch every road game at my house. Fall plans are made around football season and its been this way forever. Everyone has an open invitation to come to my house on road gamedays.
He had planned dinner for 5 and going out afterwards. Kickoff ended up being at 6 PM. This meant that 5 of our 12 person friend group chose to come over and watch the game instead of dinner and drinks.
Turns out the fact I didn’t cancel my game watching party and half our friend group didn’t attend his birthday party pissed him off. Said I could have changed plans for once and watched the game on my phone or at a bar they stopped by. Even mentioned recording it and watching it later, which is insane. I don’t like watching my team play around a bunch of strangers and i need to watch it live. I’ve heard from more than 1 person that I shouldn’t have hosted an event at the same time as our friends birthday outing. I don’t make the football schedule. AITA?
Yes, you’re an awful “friend”.
You couldn’t compromise on one game for a friend’s 40th birthday? YTA and also a bad friend.
YTA. Not for not going, but for your attitude around the whole thing.
You know what’s more insane than watching a game on your phone or watching it not-love? Planning your entire life around college football.
YTA – And I say this as a huge sports fan that watches 80+ NBA games a year. It was his 40th birthday; you could have skipped one game, watched it on your phone, recorded it, or encouraged the rest of the friend group to celebrate your buddy while you watched it at home.
Nothing sucks more than watching people who you thought were your good friends choose a game over making them feel loved.
“But, I *needed* to watch it live!”
YTA. I hope your friend gets a new friend group because the lot that missed his 40th don’t really care for him.
Does he suck or something? Why call him your friend if you care so little for him.
YTA for sure. The fact that you always watch your team’s games makes it worse. It was an effective way of telling your friend you don’t care about him, though, if that’s what you were going for.
YTA. but also just your attitude.
>Even mentioned recording it and watching it later, which is insane. I don’t like watching my team play around a bunch of strangers and i need to watch it live.
Geeze. and you’re how old? Are you married? do you have kids? Do you care about anyone outside of your sports fan friends, your team and yourself?
You could have adjusted your plans for your friend’s 40th birthday. You could’ve come for a bit and gone home to watch the second half. You could’ve taped it (not at all insane, we do it all the time to accommodate people we care about). You could’ve not had 5 additional friends over. You could’ve just not been an AH.
Wait…this is his birthday dinner? And you didn’t go because football? And you ended up having friends over that he’d hoped would celebrate his birthday?
And 40% of your rationalization for why his feelings were incidental is that the world revolves around football and everybody just needs to understand that? You don’t make the football schedule; you just worship it.
It sounds like you’re the sort of man who doesn’t really view friendships as precious or deserving of emotional labor or tending to. And that’s your prerogative. But it is AH behavior.
May this friendship never find me.
YTA
> Even mentioned recording it and watching it later, which is insane. I don’t like watching my team play around a bunch of strangers and i need to watch it live.
I don’t think you know what “need” means. You made a choice that watching a foodball game on tv is more important than your friend’s 40th birthday. You sure are allowed to do that and also most people would consider that an AH move. I am one of them YTA
YTA Surmising you’re about the same age. It sounds like a post that may be written by someone in their 20’s. Haven’t you learned by now to appreciate true friendships? Maybe you haven’t been a true friend.
>Even mentioned recording it and watching it later, which is insane. I don’t like watching my team play around a bunch of strangers and i need to watch it live.
I don’t like *this* and I need *that*. There’s probably a group for people who share your problem. Game Day Anonymous?
INFO: Was any of this discussed beforehand? Did anyone try to compromise? I’ll reserve judgement in case there is more to be said on that.
But, I mean YTA. You and the 4 others that didn’t go to the birthday aren’t very good friends and if I were the friend whose birthday you ditched for a football game because you were being insanely rigid, I wouldn’t go out of my way to hang out for your bday, just sayin. You don’t “like” watching around strangers? Really? You couldn’t do something you don’t like in order to celebrate your friends birthday for just one night?
YTA it’s their 40th birthday. Missing watching one match isnt a huge deal.
I feel sorry for you that the only thing you live for is football to the exclusion of everything and anyone else. Very much YTA to your friend.