my grandma hosts thanksgiving year for my family and my aunt and cousins. last year the family all agreed to have the turkey catered because it was becoming too much work for grandma to do herself but she really didn’t want to give up hosting so she made sides along with the dishes everyone brought and we all split the cost of the turkey.
I assumed the turkey would be delivered cooked and maybe heated up a little while before serving. however, Thanksgiving Day came and her oven was being used to cook the sides. I get to the table and the turkey is being served cold (it was delivered the day before and kept in the refrigerator). I didn’t say anything at the time but to me that is skipping the best part of the turkey and going straight to leftovers. so this year when it was mentioned that we were doing the same thing again I asked my mom if the turkey would be cold. She said that was rude and she wasn’t going to stress her mom out and there was only one oven so not everything could be warmed. I’m going along with it again but I told my mom that next year I’d prefer if we could have thanksgiving somewhere that the turkey can be served hot and she say I’m being difficult.
ETA thanks everyone for your comments. I’m going to talk to my mom about a roaster and offerto warm up the turkey for everyone myself. I live in a dorm and I was really looking forward to having home cooked food. I have a part time job and I pay for my share of the catering costs (all of us over the age of 18 pay). There’s 14 people total and I unfortunately don’t have enough money to pay for the whole turkey or know how to make a whole turkey. My parents would definitely not appreciate me trying to host the meal and I know it would make my grandma upset plus like I said they live 5 hours away by car. I was trying to figure out what to expect this year so I wouldn’t be disappointed And I don’t want to be confrontational. Microwaving my plate alone in front of everyone would make me feel pretty self conscious mayb that’s the right thing to do. I don’t know if everyone else is happy with the cold turkey. I don’t mean to be entitled I just haven’t been in a situation like this before, normally I just mash the potatoes and do whatever else my grandma needs done (cornbread, chopping veggies, setting the table, washing dishes).
NTA – Cold turkey on Thanksgiving day seems wrong. But like, can’t you just throw the platter in the microwave? How would that stress grandma out?
NTA, you can get a portable roaster to warm up the turkey in without needing the oven. Maybe go over early and help grandma with the prep and set up.
YTA. Sure, hot turkey fresh off the bone is best, but the more important thing is spending time with your family, especially your aging grandmother who may not even be around next Thanksgiving. Give thanks that you still have her in your life, and you have the blessing of being able to gather around the table with people who love you.
This isn’t an either or. Its not Grandma or a hot meal. There is no reason not to have both.
Why doesn’t somone have the turkey delivered to their house warm it up there the morning of?
YTA because no where do I see you volunteering to cook or pay for the hot meal. The turkey takes the longest in the oven, so it is either one hot turkey or all the hot sides.
If you want a different meal, put in the work and time to make that happen, not your elderly grandmother.
Yeah this is just the secret to how to approach Thanksgiving without being an asshole to the person who hosts – just you take care of the thing that matters the most to you.
I really like mashed potatoes on Thanksgiving but my mom doesn’t want to make too much. I will be bringing mashed potatoes. I will figure out how to serve them warm. My thing, my duty, my responsibility.
Being in charge of heating up the turkey is a pretty simple task. Volunteer for it. Don’t point a finger and say “someone else should do this”, no one likes that person.
NTA. Grandma needs to give up hosting Thanksgiving or others need to help out more. People could bring over toaster ovens or crockpots or hot plates.
I make my turkey the day before and carve it up the day before. I am able warm it up in the oven along with the rest of my sides, no problem. I just pour a little broth into the casserole dish cover it tightly with foil, and it is great.
BBQ grills on low heat make an excellent backup oven to keep things warm….
NTA. Ew cold turkey sounds terrible. I would offer to cook the turkey at my house in the morning and bring it over. Don’t stress grandma, just offer to do it yourself.
YTA. I don’t see you offering to do or help with anything. Entitled much? You don’t contribute, you got nothing to say about how, when or what food is served. Be grateful that you still have a grandma and a place to go.
You should all take turns going over early to do the turkey for her nah but think of answers not just problems.
YTA–If you’re that passionate about hot turkey, make it at your house and then bring it over fresh out of the oven to grandma’s. Or just put your pieces in the microwave and heat it up??