My husband (m36) I’ve been with for 6 years joked about me having adds on YouTube and I said well why don’t you get me access to your YouTube premium account then and he thought that I should pay for my own (neither of us are sure that I can be added for free or not) but I said if it’s free that’d be nice if you could just add me and he brought up how it seems like I think marriage means I just have a ticket/ access to stuff like that he pays for and this lead to a fight between us where I brought up he can do more of the household work if he thinks like this way. Am I being the asshole or him?
You’re both being very petty and childish. A quick google search would’ve told you that you can have a family plan with up to 5 additional accounts (6 in total). Either do that and go halves or get your own (probably cheaper if it’s just the 2 of you).
INFO: How are the rest of your finances split? Do you both split the cost of things or does one of you shoulder the lions share?
Edit after clariication: If you both split the cost of things anyway then surely the answer here is to continue doing the same. I’ll go with ESH as this is such a silly argument. Either get the family plan and split the cost (I would only recommend this if you have kids) or you pay for yours and he pays for his, which would still be splitting the cost. The only other way would be to give you access to his Google account which would mess up your (well, his) algorithms. It doesn’t allow multiple profiles a la Netflix.
I agree, I think it was a dumb argument. I just thought he wouldn’t mind adding me to his account when married but he kind of snapped at me about it. We both work full time, I work more hours than him and we pay most of our own bills
ESH if you split an account you should split the price of the account. I _think_ YouTube has a family plan that’s slightly more expensive, but still cheaper than you both having you own paid account.
ESH because it’s not free if your husbands paying for it, and yes, sometimes you share the things you pay for with your spouse because your partners and you love them?
“\[H\]e brought up how it seems like I think marriage means I just have a ticket/ access to stuff like that he pays for”
Well… yeah? Otherwise why bother living together at all? Do you each need your own appliances? Your own television to watch your own streaming services on? I always thought part of the point of living together, whether married or not, was to only pay once for things you could both use, so you can put money towards other shared goals, whether that’s travel, starting a family, saving for retirement, etc.
Clearly there’s more to it (do you work as well? how do you split expenses normally?) but this seems like such a weird hill to die on, and for him to bring it up by teasing you about it… why does he want you to spend money on something you don’t have to? NTA, and this warrants further discussion so you two can be on the same page.
Yeah thanks, I have the same mindset as you, it’s quite confusing why he wouldn’t want to add me, we both work and pay most of our own bills, he covers some joint things like gas, electric, Netflix and I pay for all my own bills like my car and Hulu
It’s not free, but how is this a marriage? He should just upgrade to a family plan and add you.
I had a friend from high-school add me to her account because she heard I didn’t have it. My friend and I are both 48 so high-school was quite some time ago.
ESH as far as I can tell. If that seems wrong, we need more information. Why bicker instead of finding out whether you can be added to his account? It’s not that hard. Why does your husband think there’s something wrong with a married couple sharing resources? Is housework divided unevenly now? This seems like a competition to see who can come up with the silliest thing to quarrel over.
He is afraid, you may be able to check out what he’s watching
No idea how it works, but this argument sounds so stupid it must be made up, he is not proud of what he consumes is my bet
My husband and I have the family plan. I can’t see what he is watching on his account just from being on the plan, I’d need his password.
see, here I am with a family plan and no idea how it works, I suspect husband might be similar, but with shit to hide and don’t wanna risk, or something like that, spending 2k a month on asmr vtubers somethin
We have a smart TV (I’m not sure what, my husband bought it) but it has access to our Google accounts, which means I CAN see all his YouTube videos. It’s all Dodgers….
And here I am with a family plan where my account is logged into our TV and on our Home display for my children to ruin my algorithm.
To be fair, I lovey wife but booted her off my Spotify because dam did I just want my algorithm to recommend me good music and her taste and mine are at opposite ends of spectrum.
Aka heavy metal, deth metal, thrash vs Taylor Swift and I needed to have just one playlist that was my own lol