About 3/4 months ago, a stray cat in my neighborhood had late kittens and only 1 survived. I tried to catch it and feed it and a terrific neighbor and his family also noticed it. They are dog owners, his wife is allergic to cats. Although they have 2 very prey driven cat-UNfriendly dogs in their backyard, the kitten sometimes bravely ventures into the back to visit his aging mother, when she goes outside several times a day to smoke. (Normally while dogs are indoors.) Mr Man likes that his mom likes the kitten and he also likes cats OK. However he already said he won’t feed it and not to feed it near his house… He IS willing to help ($) get her fixed. I trapped her & put her in my backyard jail pre spay, a small 4×4 enclosure that is covered and waterproofed, with an extra lil doghouse inside that, filled with straw and a pet safe heating pad. She was a little hissy at first but once I picked her up and started giving her scritches she melted and is the sweetest little baby. When i suggested finding a home for her after she is spayed, he said "no, that’s ok i don’t mind the kitten and besides, my mom likes it too." I am sorry yet not sorry buuut I just do not feel like that’s a good enough life for a tiny kitten that is so fuzzy and loving and friendly and could so easily get a loving home.
(Non judgemental background insert: their dogs don’t generally go to the vet. They didn’t fix them and a prior dog had arthritis/ some other pain/mobility issue for a couple years before she died. They didn’t do anything for her, even though she cried alot. So i just don’t think it’s reasonable for him to "keep" a stray that he likewise isn’t going to feed, care for, shelter or cuddle with. His mom, btw can barely feed herself and needs a walker. She is in dialysis & prolly not going to be around much longer….they’ve already talked about putting her in hospice because her care needs are getting increasingly more difficult.
"Keeping" a kitten because someone occasionally enjoys seeing it outdoors is not a good reason to deny it a real home…esp if you’re already considering hospice. Being cool with and liking an animal that’s randomly around does not equal good pet ownership. Imho. We usually get 3/4/5 months of winter mess. I do TNR in my neighborhood and I can’t tell you how many cats have been killed in our neighborhood just this year from packs of dogs and cars and all kinds of stuff… there’s even a big owl in their tree out front. So my big AITA question is, am i the ahole if I am planning on secretly finding her a new home anyway after having her fixed? (she may already be preggers, even though she’s just a baby herself) ??
NTA
How would he know if you rehomed her verses any of the other myriad of horrible things that happen to loose cats?
Don’t tell him, do what’s right, and move on.
I really needed that confirmation of what’s in my heart, thank you!! I appreciate you for taking time to help with my mental hopscotch.
Nta. He sucks, but how would he even know? Screw him and his lazy neglectful attitude and rehome.
I appreciate that. Being the person i am, anxiety for animals already keeps me awake sometimes. It would be painful to have my evil brain tormenting me with “what ifs” about a kitten, esp with winter coming. Thank you for the needed input!
If you are going to find her a loving home, do it.. Just don’t tell him.. I am against lying, but if you just say, I don’t know where she is,.. well, do you know exactly where she is?? Nope.. So just say, not sure when he asks..
Also, if he is doing nothing to take care of and feed the kitten, then he has no say.. nta
Thank you…i dont really have anyone to talk to, and i just needed a lil reassurance. I’m going to sleep better tonight!
NTA, just keep her safe until you can get her homed.
Nta. While I understand first hand it’s hard seeing his mom in dialysis and the kitten brings her joy, that baby needs somewhere safe and that’s not in the “wild”. Plus, you’ll be saving the local wildlife, cats are invasive and are known bird killers.
Nta, please find the kitten a home.