I work part-time at a mall, after my shifts I usually meet up with my boyfriend at the adjacent arcade. He likes the arcade alot, being a frequent visitor/player. I have to leave at a certain time, so tell him I have an hour til I’m going. He stays at the arcade the entire hour despite him saying that we’ll go back to his house. I’m tired so really wanted to go back to his house to cuddle in bed – which we don’t. I inform him of the time periodically whilst he’s playing rhythm and token games til the end of an hour rolls around and I say goodbye. By then I’m frustrated, having watched him mess around at the arcade for an hour half-asleep, and walk off. He’s busy playing a token game so I don’t ask for a hug or kiss, I just leave. He’s sad about this. I apologized to him and I don’t expect an apology from him. I feel like I shouldn’t have walked away so suddenly, I think I ought to have been clearer to him and I feel like the asshole for making him upset and worrying him by my leaving.
NTA It wasn’t suddenly, you gave him a countdown. If he’s sad that’s on him.
You were clear. You had an hour. He played games. You gave him the time periodically. He ignored you. He was involved in a game when it was time for you to leave. At any point he could have stopped playing and paid attention to you.
Thankyou for your comment, I understand now that it wasn’t suddenly and will reconsider his excuse that “\[he\] lost track of time”. I really appreciate that input and time taken to write such, have a good day/night!
Just don’t let this continue to happen. You have value and he isn’t treating you with enough interest. Good communication and respect is a two way street, so keep the lines open and love and respect each other.
NTA
You don’t owe him an apology.
You owe yourself a long look at this relationship.
He showed you (not for the first time if I’m reading right) where you rate: behind rhythm and token games. Then it sounds like he guilted you for not waiting around for him when you were tired and had asked him to leave.
Dump him and find someone who prioritizes YOU
You’re right that this has happened multiple times, usually I’m more patient with him. Thankyou so much for the advice, I hadn’t thought about it like that (me apparently ranking below rhythm and token games). I will consider this and appreciate your input, have a good day/night!
NTA – I would really think about your relationship with him. If he really does prioritize you then he will understand what he did wrong. You gave him time and he chose to ignore you. If anything he is the one who owes you an apology.
NTA. You kept him apprised of the time and you don’t owe him an apology at all. He was rude and inconsiderate.
NTA. How many hours have you wasted doing this?
Stop reminding. Stop waiting. Life is too short to be treated this way. He’s shown you repeatedly that you are not a priority. How much clearer does he need you to be? He doesn’t even apologize. Let him be sad. Find someone who makes you a priority, doesn’t guilt you, and actually has remorse and changes behaviour when they do you wrong.
NTA you didn’t just leave you gave him a time limit and told him when you needed to leave. Honestly you might have to leave this relationship too he clearly doesn’t pay attention to you or care about you and it sounds like he’s addicted to gaming
NTA. Clearly he made his choice. Keep walking. Sorry honey.
If you’re tired just go home. You don’t need to wait for him.
NTA. What the hell is wrong with you ? You’re dating an asshole… and you sure a shit don’t owe him a apology, just tell him to lose your number…find someone that actually wants to spend time with you and prioritize you!
NAH
He got wrapped up in a hobby he gets a lot of enjoyment from, and that doesn’t mean he cares about you any less, as much as it took his attention in the moment. We all want to enjoy our outlets and have our partners do that too, and sometimes it is inevitable that this leads to misunderstandings.
You were tired and wanted to go home, and he clearly didn’t process that fully or that you had even left, because he was worried when you weren’t there. Have a frank discussion about both of your preferences for what to do in this situation next time, and then do that.
One option is to put something on the screen ledge indicating that you leave after this round, so he can pause before putting in more tokens and give it his full attention and consideration.
Typically these games give three songs per payment, with very little time between songs, and failing a song is an immediate game over and wastes the credit, so that’s basically 10-20 minutes where he is going to be tuned out and not able to effectively communicate especially if he’s decent at it and doing challenging stages.
You needed to leave by a certain time. He knew you needed to leave by a certain time. You left when you needed to leave AFTER you told him. How are you an asshole? At all?
NTA