A few years ago I moved to Boston for grad school. Since my sister lives there too and my university gave me a studio apartment that I can pay with student loans, she secretly stayed in this apartment with me for free until the end of my grad program. Independent of that, she also owes me \~$15k over the span of several years because she didn’t make enough money to cover her rent while in medical school. I feel like this context is important to understand why I think I’m not in the wrong.
Once I graduated we needed to get a new apartment, and my sister purposely went for a 2 bedroom fancy high-rise that was near the hospital she works at that I could TECHNICALLY afford with my meager salary, but not by much. Still, we signed the lease in May 2024 and lived there for a year, splitting the rent so I would pay an eyewatering $2700 a month. When May 2025 came up and we needed to renew the lease, I did it without thinking.
However, I was really homesick and not happy with my life. My job was brutal, I missed my friends and family back home, and I hated how goddamn expensive everything is in Boston. When I went to visit my parents in August they were like "Just move back here and have your sister move to a smaller apartment in the same high rise, and you can pay the transfer fee." So I did. Got a job here I like, moved all my stuff, and even paid my half of the rent for a couple more months to give my sister time to move.
She, however, is furious. Living by herself in a one bedroom means she’ll have to pay more for the rent ($3200 instead of us splitting the $5400 rent into $2700 each) and despite making twice my salary as a doctor in a highly prestigious hospital she has NO money saved up. My sister is pretty bougie and loves to buy expensive stuff so its not surprising, but its frustrating how we paid the same rent for over a year, she makes twice the amount of money I do, and yet I somehow have more money saved up than she does. She’s also very picky about roommates and originally wanted me to find a new roommate to share the lease with, but I haven’t been too successful there.
My sister proposed that since she has to pay an extra $500 a month because of me moving, I should have to contribute that money to her rent until the time our lease wouldve originally ended (May 2026). I believe that after YEARS of giving her free housing and thousands of dollars, I should be off the goddamn hook. At the very least, let those $500 a month come out of the money she borrowed from me years ago and couldn’t afford to pay back. On the one hand I feel bad for her, but on the other hand I’m tired of someone who makes way more than I do financially relying on me for no good reason
NTA
NTA
Your sister is outrageously entitled. Are your parents aware that she’s demanding rent from you after you moved home on their suggestion?
She tries to keep it hush-hush, like “We don’t have to involve them it’ll just stress them out” except anytime we argue the first thing she does is call my mom and whine to her about it, so… hmmm…
Lay it all out for your mom. Tell her your sister is, as well as disrespecting you, setting herself up for financial failure despite her privilege. And btw, kudos for getting out o the situation and prioritizing happiness!
NTA. You are not responsible for your sister. She is an adult so she can find her own roommate. Whoever you found would simply be unsuitable and therefore she would blame you.
Just tell your sister no deal and remind her of the money she still owes you. Then go live your own life.
No. Obviously, no. Your sister can get a roommate. This is ridiculous.
A very obviously face palming NTA.
Tell it to her that way. “Sis, you make way more than I do. Why is this an issue for you? Why am i responsible for finding you a new roommate? Also, you owe me $15,000 that I wasn’t going to worry about but since you’re all about the money, maybe pay that back to me first. I’m glad to see all the appreciation for letting you stay with me through school, for free. I really feel the love. 🙄”
If she keeps up with the attitude, go LC/NC.
NTA
NTA. You’ve paid for a couple of months to give her breathing space; She can take the money off what she owes you, or find a cheaper apartment. Her living beyond her means is not your problem anymore. You’ve done enough for her.
NTA
Not only is not your responsibility to bank roll your sister’s life, you have already given her plenty of financial support.
It may feel mean but she’s never going to figure out supporting herself if you keep bailing her out.
NTA. This is not your problem. If you were still on the hook for the lease you signed, then yeah I would say you are obligated to pay. But doesn’t sound like that’s the case. She wants you to pay her rent in a totally separate apartment? No. You’re not obligated to subsidize her forever.
A possible script: “How about I subtract the $500 a month from the $15,000 you owe me, then you just have to pay the difference back!”
NTA.
NTA. Just … NTA. I really don’t think there’s any more to be said. Hand your sister a bill for the amount she owes you and have done with it.